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-- Torg (coming into focus): It lives! /*Hey Crushy!*/ | You've been out for a while. Let me catch you up. --- Torg (now in focus): I found the key to my shackles near where Lâu monstered-out, and the late Dr. Nofun dropped his gun. - Torg: The same Doctor who developed snake-mouth hands whose fangs were strong enough to bite through your skin and poison you. <**CHOMP**> - Torg: But I didn't know what /kind/ of poison! You were still breathing fine, and when I tried to call 911 on your phone they thought I was pranking them on the location. | Since the one door is electror-locked and the other leads to New-Monster-Central. I was kinda trapped here; just me and your phone. | Your brand new *An-Oid X* by Grab-all™! And what's /Grab-all/ known for? *Information!* | /**YOUR**/ information right here on this phone. --- Torg: I like your Monicruel wallpaper! She's hot! Torg: And clearly nicer than your ex-wife who got everything in the re-divorce settlement. Torg: At least according to all your emails, text messages, and live face statuses. Torg: And your Pink Alpaca got typhoid in Farmburg. Tough break. -- An-Oid X screenshot #1: (Monicruel in a strapless bikini holding a drink in one hand and holding a straw hat on her head with the other hand) An-Oid X screenshot #2: Grab-all | I-zon-U An-Oid X screenshot #3: Hobo-Defense An-Oid X screenshot #4: B.T. Chestro | re-ex-wife of doom | <obscured>-5879 | <obscured>-6485 | <obscured>-1324 | <obscured<F>>ACTS | stupid | obese | lying | shiny | butt! | <obscured>sey -- Torg (smirking): So you see, I've had nothing better to do for the last eight hours but raid your minifridge and go through all your personal information on your phone! -- </Flashback> Caption: What Torg did for the last 7 hours and 30 minutes: An-Oid X: HOBO-DEFENSE LEVEL 3 COMMENCE! Torg: Concerned citizens are trying to force us into state housing! /Man the dumpster mounted urine cannons!/ An-Oid X: DROPPING PANTS. </End flashback> === NOTE: Ref: _Nofun Bite_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20101011> | _Grab-All_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/090108> | _Live Face_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20071224> | _Monicruel and Chestro_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/100614>. | Flag | ||||
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Squishydodo: It's a data-partnership, not a hostile takeover. -- Tweetyjerkjerk: Not a...? /Were you just in there?!?/ And you're making all us Black-Ops Elves sell our shares to the human minority on the board! As in *'SELL OUT!'* -- Squishydodo: We're out. We have other things to worry about. I wonder if Santa will keep being Grab-All's biggest client with us out. I guess it dosen't [sic: should be "doesn't"] matter. -- Tweetyjerkjerk: You couldn't *handle* being in charge, /could/ you. Never number one, /*always*/ number two. Squishydodo: Do you know what happens to /'number ones'/ in /*our*/ line of work? -- Squishydodo: Leaderleadlead? Thrown out of the elfable skyscraper by Bun-Bun. Santa Claus? Genetically transformed into an alien. (OK, he got better). Bun-Bun? Thrown out of time itself. Thawtypopo just now? Blasted into another dimension! Squishydodo: *I /(*)am(*)/ number two! I am /MADE/ of number two! -- Squishydodo: Um... You're not publically tweetlering my "I'm made of number two" quote are you, Tweetyjerkjerk? <**ding**> -- Squishydodo: Nevermind. Tweetyjerkjerk: You're "two" ... late! Hash-tag-pun! Squishydodo: I hate the internet. Now I just have to explain this to the wife. Tweetyjerkjerk: You really are always number two. === NOTE: Ref: _Leaderleadlead (previously unnamed)_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20000827> | _Santa Alien_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20001224> | _Bun-bun Time_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20040111> | _Thawtypopo_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20150420>. | Flag | ||||
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--- </Flashback> Squishydodo: This is where we're starting over, family! Squishybunbunbunbun: Cool, daddy! Can I explore? Squishydodo: Go for it, son! Slappyhoho-dodo: Squishydodo, /*A trailer park?!?*/ -- Squishydodo: /*Better!* A long abandoned forgotten/ trailer park with enough trailers to house all the Black Ops elves! -- Slappyhoho-dodo: <***blink...***> ... <**blink...**> ... -- Slappyhoho-dodo (beaming): This was a Native American reservation once, right? Hubby you're a /*genius!*/ -- Squishydodo: I /*know,*/ right? There's no government surveillance or cellphone towers or wi-fi or anything here! -- Slappyhoho-dodo: Here we'll be safe from the new 'Hereti-Corp'-'Grab-All' hybrid! But you're not just going to have us hide for the rest of our lives! I know you better than that. -- Squishydodo: You've seen the same data I have. Hereti-Corp is taking over everything and must be stopped. We need the creator of the D.F.A., *Riff Wildenburg.* Slappyhoho-dodo: hmmm. Asociate [sic: should be "Associate"] of *Bun-Bun!* Squishydodo: Exactly. -- Squishydodo: Bun-Bun'd make a *perfect* new 'Number One'. Since a photo of him popped up on Grab-All a few years ago, we've been protecting him. For this very reason. -- Slappyhoho-dodo: That's /*right!*/ Santa and the other holidays still don't know Bun-Bun's back! Squishydodo: We're not even supposed to know that we know. So look surprised when you see him. Slappyhoho-dodo: He's /already on his way?/ -- Squishydodo: No. The one thing I haven't figured out is how to get him and Riff here to lead us against Hereti-Corp. /*And*/ think it was his idea. -- Slappyhoho-dodo: Hon, this is a Native American reservation! All we have to do is alert Bun-Bun to the fact that we're doing nothing here and his brain will jump right to the greediest option. Squishydodo (snapping his finger): *He'll open a casino!* <SNAP> </Pause flashback> === NOTE: Ref: _This Comic <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/150427>. | Flag | ||||
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-- Torg (holding up the rock): Until now, it was a moot point. I /couldn't find her. But *right now* the stars aligned and I can have her find me. I can get her the message "Meet me at the cliff." -- Torg (off panel; the rock on the ground, with a stick he draws a small circle closely around it): I make a compelling internet message. Social media does the rest, right? But it's a big internet out there. No guarantees it goes viral. Small circle. -- Torg (off panel; drawing a second circle closely around the first): You guys could use the backdoor at Grab-All to boost the signal, but it wouldn't 'stick'. Still, a slightly bigger circle. -- Torg (off panel; drawing a third circle slightly wider around the first two): *But we have Izzy!* She was literally /raised/ to control a world of social media. She hides by turning things down. She can turn them up. "Viral" status achieved. Much bigger circle. -- Squishydodo: But your message wasn't compelling! It was /*lousy!*/ -- Torg: What happens when the internet forces an unworthy video on society? Everyone complains about it, through radio, television, every medium ever made. -- Torg (off panel; drawing a wide circle around the others): Full. Global. Distribution. -- Squishydodo (tearing up): Sweet Christmas! Your god-awful twerking was... It was... Well thought out?!? (*)sniff(*) *Welcome back, boss.* -- Torg: Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Squish! Let's see how my camping trip goes. This still might not work. -- Stone Johnson (off panel; reporting over TV): Even more than the "Bucket-or-lava challenge" the "Meet me at the cliff" video has taken the internet by storm! | Yet by all reports, *Everybody hates it!* Torg (off panel; singing on the video): *Oasis, my love, I want you know...* Stone Johnson (off panel; reporting over TV): All that "hate" isn't stopping hordes of teenagers from gathering along cliffs all over the country! Torg (off panel; singing on the video): *I need to see you, let me tell you where to go...* -- Qwirky Waltons (reporting on "***NIFTY NEWS | 50***"): Do you know how dangerous it is to stand on the edge of a cliff, Stone? Especially to somebody /dumb enough/ to stand on the edge of a cliff? Stone Johnson: Unimaginable! Yet I imagine it! Qwirky Waltons: And nobody knows who this dance or this 'Oasis' is! /*That means we get to make something up!*/ -- Stone Johnson: Right, Quirky [sic: should be "Qwirky"]! Because how do y'know it's /*not*/ true, right? Stay tuned next segment to /freak the hell out!/ Torg (off panel; singing on the video): *...MEET ME AT THE CLIFF* **MEET ME AT THE CLIFF** -- Torg (off panel; signing on the video): *...MEET ME AT THE CLIFF* **MEET ME AT THE CLIFF** (The Zahlias and Oasis are watching TV and are viewing the report - Oasis is clutching the back of the couch *hard*) === NOTE: Ref Links: _Black-Ops Elves/Grab-All connection_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20150413>. | Kareen, Katie and Oasis: _Recommended reading_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/160726>, _or start here_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20160826>. | Izzy: _Recommended reading_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/160201>. _Quirky [sic: should be "Qwirky"] _ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/160516> last seen. _Stone_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20110113> last seen (really? has it been so long?). | Flag | ||||
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Minion #2: "Chain Bear?" Minion #3: "Citizen's Band (radio)?: Alyssa: "Chemical-Biological?" -- (Minion #1 tastes the content of the test tube, while another minion does an internet search) Minion #2: Grab-All Search says it stands for the Nofun Corp. hyper-mutating *"Cheesy Bossmonster Virus!"* Minion #1: I wish you told me that before I sipped it! Minion #2: You shouldn't have even opened it at the word "virus"! -- Minion #1: **/AUGHHH!/ It's effecting me!** /This is not a Jello-shot!/ Alyssa: Oh my god! /It's horrible!/ Minion #2: He looks fine, Alyssa! Alyssa: But he should have said "affecting," not "effecting!" Minion #2: Grammar Nazi. === NOTE: Inconsequential _Grammaar ref._ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20051102/>. | Flag | ||||
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Computer: Grab-allâ„¢ | Grab-mail <envelope> <globe> <pencil> [] Mr. Prime Abscondia needs HELP! 1/6/09 [] Rudy Ro pills Cialia Viagre free ship... 1/1/09 [] <*> a fEMALE STOP EMAILING ME 12/02/08 [] IndyMac Work From Home! 12/01/08 [] VirusV Stay Young Forever! @ 11/25/08 [] AS[obscured] Re: Eat meds zero cost ... 11/05/08 [] [blocked by Sam] Enlarged [obscured]ublic hair 10/29/08 [] [blocked by Sam] Naked [obscured]nkyYAKS! @ 10/29/08 [] [blocked by Sam] Luxury [obscured]fants o... 10/16/08 Sam: Aw! Just another scam from some dude claiming to be the Prime Minister of /Abscondia/ trying to drain my bank account! -- Sam: That lameo [sic: should be "lame-o"] doesn't know my account was already drained by the Princess of /Scamrobi./ But that's OK because she was probably hot. -- Grab-all: Pop-up Alert: Torg is online! Sam: /*Torg!*/ I haven't talked to him in *ages!* I wonder what he's up to! -- Grab-all: Torg is in his underwear. Sam: A little too much information there, *Grab-Allâ„¢!* -- Grab-All: Torg has come into some money but doesn't want his pet rabbit Bun-bun to know. Sam: *Grab-Allâ„¢* makes information so convenient! Grab-All: Torg has a "SuuWII Fit" age of 147 | Flag | ||||
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Captions: C. Conspiro | Representing: | The Evil 5 Mr. Gennaro | Representing: | Hereti-Corp Woody | Representing: | The Board IMAGE REDACTED | Mr. Racket | Representing: | Grab-All Inc Monicruel | Representing: | Golden Sacks P-man-4 | Representing: | P-Group Yuri | Representing: | Zark Ind. unknown | Representing: | Evil Fist, LLC ELIMINATED | Time Czar | Representing: | Time Czar Henchie 241 | Representing: | M. Swallowtail unknown | Representing: | unkown [sic: should be "unknown"] unknown | Representing: | Ninkuza Operative 42532 | Representing: | The Operation Fou Chun | Representing: | Nofun Corp Crushestro | Representing: | Crush Weapz Inc. -- (Dr. Shankraft looks at the monitor with the guest list and another with Crushestro, looking sheepish after his pun) Shankraft: See, if /*we*/ were down there, Hanz, you totally would have gotten sprayed with the Time Czar's blood and guts, and then I could have jumped in with /"Crushestro, you've got too much time on my Hanz!"/ -- Shankraft: /*THAT'S*/ an awe inspiring pun! And /Crushy/ suspects "Minion Master". Can't say I... *What the hell are they doing here?!?* -- (Hanz unties two "people" dressed as minions) Shankraft: This is a restricted room! /Just you and I!/ Hanz: Relax, Doc. These are /*our*/ guys who got jumped. This should speed up our investigation. -- Hanz: Tell Dr. Shankraft who tied you up! Sam: Torg did! Hanz: And who is /Torg?/ -- Sam (pulling his mask off to reveal his identity): /*My friend!*/ -- (Hanz looks at the other "minion," who is actually ZHOAS, trying to bite him) Hanz: What is this? A stuffed mannequin or a... <***CHOMP!***> -- (Hanz is frightened as ZHOAS tries to bite him) <***CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!***> Hanz: ***GYAHHEEEY*** -- Hanz: ***YYYAHH!*** <***CHOMP!***> -- Shankraft: OK that's ridiculously freaky. Sam (holding Shankraft in the air with one hand): I know but she's off the market. I think she might play for the other team if you know what I mean because I'm not sure what I mean but it's hot. | Flag | ||||
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Captions: ELIMINATED | C. Conspiro | Representing: | The Evil 5 Mr. Gennaro | Representing: | Hereti-Corp ELIMINATED | Woody | Representing: | The Board ELIMINATED | CORPSE REDACTED | Mr. Racket | Representing: | Grab-All Inc Monicruel | Representing: | Golden Sacks P-man-4 | Representing: | P-Group Yuri | Representing: | Zark Ind. unknown | Representing: | Evil Fist, LLC ELIMINATED | Time Czar | Representing: | Time Czar Henchie 241 | Representing: | M. Swallowtail ELIMINATED | unknown | Representing: | unkown [sic: should be "unknown"] unknown | Representing: | Ninkuza ELIMINATED | Operative 42532 | Representing: | The Operation Fou Chun | Representing: | Nofun Corp Crushestro | Representing: | Crush Weapz Inc. -- (A mêlée is under way in the dining room, with projectiles and shots fired by guns and ray-guns; Corsica is chasing a fly, but looks like she's chasing Yuri, and several people are hiding behind the upended table) Unknown Ninkuza rep: *Everyone! Stop fighting! My analysis shows we're sealed in air-tight! SHANKRAFT is KILLING US ALL!* Woody (dying): tell them.. tell them I was bored... <**ZAP**> <*KiSH!*> <*BLAM!*> -- Torg (peeking out from the kitchen door): Terrific. Now we're running out of air, too. -- (Sasha tries to use a communicator, and Torg takes off his mask) Torg: Have you gotten through to the Minion Master yet? Sasha: There's a lot of signal jamming going on. And the lack of oxygen is making it harder for me to think of a hack-around! -- Torg: Lucky for us, I'm thinking sharp and talking out loud about our allegiance to the Minion Master. Hello little squirrel! What do you want? -- Yuri (running back into the dining room): *Ze Meenion Master meenions are in leak vith ze Shankraft henchmen in ze keetchen!* Torg: Nuts. | Flag | ||||
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Screenshot Title: Grab-all | I-zon-U (Screenshot of the classic Star Trek star field at warp speed) -- An-Oid X Screenshot #4: (Monicruel in a strapless bikini, holding on to a drink with one hand and holding her straw hat onto her head with the other; she's wearing her trademark monocle and a choker; the pose has her thrusting her breasts out and highlights her sculpted abs) === NOTE: This weekend (per request): the screen shots from Crushestro's phone! Hopefully YOUR phone will be smart enough to use one of these as wallpaper. Or maybe it's too smart to fall for that. | Flag | ||||
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Kusari (over the video feed): And you stole the original designs from Riff whom you then had killed. -- Schlock: Why would you bring that up, Kusari? Developing morals? Kusari (off panel; over the video feed): Historical perspective, Irving. -- Schlock: Well we're about to lose our military contracts to Crushestro Inc! And I *cannot let that happen!* We *need* access to the satellite network! -- Kusari (over the video feed): There is little we can do without funding. The Golden Sacks bankgroup has downgraded our credit status. I believe there is a connection between the banks and Crushestro that you should pay attention to. (The diagram on the monitor shows Monicruel as a connection between Golden Sacks and Crushestro) -- Schlock: I don't need your accounting lessons, Kusari. We don't need to /'borrow'/ money! Kusari (over the video feed): Incorrect. Our credit status affects our stock value. And too much of our liquid assets are tied up in executive Daiyu's 'House of Cheese' pharmaceutical experiments. -- Schlock (angrily): Which are behind schedule due to more sabotage! How is it possible for Crushestro to remove *all* my agents and even avoid your scrutiny, while we're sitting ducks for them? Kusari: You know the reasons. We all have our weaknesses. -- Schlock: Yours appears to be giving me "historical perspective" and "accounting lessons" instead of doing your job as head of security! *Flush Torg out! Find me Oasis! BRING ME THE HEAD OF CRUSHESTRO!!! *STOP THIS WAR!** -- Kusari (over the video feed; listening to her ear bug): Hold on... New information... Some suspicious outgoing data-packets... -- Schlock (looking defeated): Dammit! Grab-all hacking our security cams and feeding the vids to the highest bidder. And apparently we have no funding to buy our info back. -- Kusari (over the video feed): At least they are not choosing sides in this. We do need a countermeasure. -- (Schlock types on the keyboard) <type> <type> <type> -- (A "Z" logo, with an upside down power button logo in the middle appears on the screen) Schlock: We have one. === NOTE: Just a heads-up- That "Z" logo is new and more will be explained tomorrow. | Flag | ||||
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Squishydodo: Worked like a charm! Riff is in. Once he's comfortable we'll figure out how to approach him about dimensional flux defenses. Hereti-Corp will fall! Slappyhoho-dodo: Don't get ahead of ourselves, dear. I've been compiling reports on all of Riff's entourage. -- Squishydodo: They should all be under "Known Bun-Bun Associates." Slappyhoho-dodo: Not her. "Teresa" she has a criminal history worth noting. -- Slappyhoho-dodo: And there's nothing at all on the big blonde with the googally eyes. Squishydodo: What are you talking about? We have tons on him! -- Squishydodo: He's like Bun-Bun's owner or best friend or something. Named "Torque," It [sic: should be "I"] think. Checking our copy of the Grab-All cloud... <tak> <tak> <tak> -- Computer: Ø Squishydodo: Nothing. That's /impossible!/ Slappyhoho-dodo: We'll put full surveillance on Teresa and Torque starting immediately. -- Squishydodo: You don't understand, Slappy! If either of them are Hereti-Corp spies we are as good as fluxed. But we can't raise the suspicions of Bun-Bun or Riff prematurely! Slappyhoho-dodo: What do you suggest we do, Squishydodo? Squishydodo: *Put full surveillance on Teresa and Torque starting immediately.* Slappyhoho-dodo: You're right, dear. It does sound more imperative in bold. </Pause flashback> | Flag | ||||
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Teresa's diary: Dear diary that I burn with fire two seconds after writing: Today was a /great/ day! -- Teresa's diary: All I've been able to find so far is that the Device is a backdoor into Grab-all and Hereti-corp. If knowledge is power, this Device is all the power! But I couldn't locate it! -- Teresa's diary: After a week and a half of snooping, I found /actionable intel!/ -- (Teresa spying on the elves) Cookygabgab: Hey sillyfoilfoil! What's new? Sillyfoilfoil: The device will be moved into the base tonight! -- Sillyfoilfoil: How's the base security system for the device, Cookygabgab? Cookygabgab: Not ready yet, but we need the device to show it off to Noah Zark. -- Unobservserv: Noah Zark? We're contacting him? Sillyfoilfoil: Tonight Unobservserv! -- Teresa's diary: Tonight, the Device will be in place but without security. They'll be distracted, but not enough. I know a bigger distraction. -- Teresa (overly dressed): Hey Bun-Bun! I heard some sounds coming from the construction site. Noises underground. Weird. Bun-Bun: I hear some sounds coming from you too. Sounds like you're setting someone up. Which is fine, as long as it's not me. Sure, I'll do a hop-by <**Poing!**> -- <<musical note> ***VELCRO DRESS*** <musical note>> <*RIIIIPPPPP*> (Teresa rips off her dress to reveal her cat-burglar outfit) </Pause other flashback> === NOTE: Ref: _Sillyfoilfoil_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20150701>, and _this_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/150616>. | Flag | ||||
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Zoë (pointing to her phone): OK Torg, by my calculations you have forty minute [sic: should be "minutes"] to play Pokemon Go before Hereti-Corp can use Grab-All™ to track our location! Torg: Zoë, /look!/ I got the /rarest starter!/ *PEEKATCHURMAIL!* -- Panel caption: 5 minutes later Torg (running towards the bushes): Zoë! There's a *NOSEYBRO* in the bushes over there! -- Panel caption: 45 minutes later Zoë: *Torg?!?* Torg: Hold on! I almost have enough nose candy to evolve my *NOSEYBRO* into a *BIGBRUTHER!* -- Panel caption: 60 minutes later Zoë (being chased by an hC helicopter): /*RUNNN!!!*/ Torg (walking toward an open manhole): There's a *FALSPLAT* somewhere very close! I can /almost/ feel it! Sign: WARNING | OPEN MANHOLE -- Panel caption: 61 minutes later Female hC Agent: We were too late to capture Torg alive. But we got enough data off his account to track the rest of his friends. Male hC Agent: *Wait!* He's still alive. He's trying to say something! Torg (off panel; from the manhole): Worrrrthhh it... </End Torg's fantasy> -- Torg (muttering to himself): Worrrrthhh it... Zoë: What was that, Torg? /Ack,/ there's another guy about to walk into the highway! -- Torg: By my calculations I'd have forty minutes before Hereti-Corp could... Zoë: /*PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU'RE WALKING, *YOU POKE-DUMB... PEOPLE-MONS... ZERS!** <***HONNNK!***> -- Torg: You need suspenders. And can I play "Pokemon Go?" /*Pleassse???*/ Zoë: If you mention that game one more time I'm going to evolve you out of this relationship. Torg: You started it. === NOTE: *Pokeman Mentions: (_1_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/19991029>) (_2_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20001025>) (_3_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20020710>)* *Reminder:* _Hereti-Corp now controls Grab-All_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20160712>, and a Grab-All account is used for Pokemon Go, in this world at least! ;) *Full disclosure:* I'm a happy Pokemon Go player and, although tempted, have yet to run in to [sic: should be "into"] traffic. In Pokemon and /*all*/ things, enjoy what you like; assess the risks, play responsibly | Flag | ||||
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-- Grapebook screen: DR. VISTUVIUS Slappyhoho-dodo: His company, Hemovirlen, suffered the same hostile takeover as Grab-All. Except most of his buildings and staff were fluxed in the takeover. He has occult connections. Squishydodo: I doubt we'll need pharmaceuticals. Plus he's scary and I don't dig the floating eyeballs. -- Grapebook screen: SHARON GALL Slappyhoho-dodo: Another mix of science and the occult, she was friends with 'Brian Rammer'. A man Torg spent a lot of time researching. Squishydodo: Good work. I'll bring her up to Torg. -- Grapebook screen: ANNOY-O-PAC | HELLOOO Slappyhoho-dodo: I don't know who this robot is but he's /*cute!*/ Squishydodo: /*Kill it! Burn it with acid!*/ -- Crushestro (over video chat): There is only so much I can offer at short notice Torg. And a direct assault against Hereti-Corp is going to take a lot of firepower. I will need time. You need to settle on a plan soon. -- Crushestro (over video chat): Also, any news on locating my beloved Monicruel? Torg: I'm sorry. I'll let you know the second we have something on either front. -- Noah Zark (over video chat): Have reviewed dokuments. For protectink environment if nothink else, *ve are vith you, Kaka!* Pasqual (over video chat; in front of Noah): Da, all the rain vould make my talk all flat and unsnukkly! I /do/ like to snukkle! -- Percy (over video chat): Any information I can broker or identification I can forge? I'm /*hungry*/ to help you. -- Torg: No, Percy, you can't have discount chips at the casino when it opens. And were you just threatening to eat me? Percy (over video chat): No threat. Just something to chew on until the next time I meat you. Torg: I think you just had a verbal typo there. === NOTE: Ref: Dr. Vistuvius (no ref links) | _Sharon Gall_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20070927> (_Alt Sharon 'Aylee'_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/070615>) (_Alt Sharon 4UCity_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20110629>) | Annoy-o-Pac (whatever that is it is definitly [sic: should be "definitely"] NOT the _most annoying card in Hearthstone_ <http://www.hearthpwn.com/cards/12181-annoy-o-tron>) | Recent _Crushestro & Percy_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20150902>. | Flag | ||||
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--- Hereti-Corp Agent Drake: The Grab-All™ technologies has gone from a simple search engine to an integral part of the lives of the majority of the planet. Hereti-Corp has been very impressed with your rise. Hereti-Corp Agent Tyler: For an "All your cards on the table" company, you guard your secrets well. It took an army of Hereti-Corp hackers to even locate you so we could have this meeting. And here you are, the true super-secret head of Grab-All™! Thawtypopo: Hacking is old school. We give people free useful tools and everybody hands us more information about them than you could ever /hack./ Sign on wall: ***Grab-all™*** Technologies | Because information should be fee. And we will freely exchange it with you for money. Laptop screen: Grab-All (tm) Double-Self-Surveillance | HERETI-CORP | Agent Drake | Agent Tyler | Threat level 0% (Unarmed) -- Agent Drake: All that information. And Hereti-Corp wants to help you answer the question "To what end?" -- Squishydodo: To /what end?/ Why it's all to determine if everybody is naughty or nice, /*of course!*/ At the top of the company we're all Christmas Black-ops Elves! -- Agent Drake: Did /*not*/ see that coming. Agent Tyler: I need to clear my browser history before Santa find out! === NOTE: Ref: *Grab-all(tm)* _First_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090106> | _Last_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20120313> (First-ISH | Last-ISH on both fronts) *Drake and Tyler* _First_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20090317> | _Last_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20130130>. And *_Squishydodo_* <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20060912>'s _Black Op Elves_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20000903> are back! | Flag | ||||
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Sam (typing): I've been to hell and back, man! Maybe /*literally.*/ I can't quite remember. <tak> <tak> <tak> <tak> -- Sam (typing): Oh, an [sic: should be "and"] I'm still on the run from thos /*Vrykovamps.*/ They are like, /everywhere!/ And I'm solo. <tak> <tak> <tak> <tak> -- Torg (typing): No converts to the "Sam Cirkail Mamajama" in all these years? Sam (typing): I'm just looking for the right girl to start things off. Torg (typing): You forgot how to change someone into a vampire didn't you? Sam (typing): ... Sam (typing): LOL /*Hey!*/ I swung by your place last 4thof July but it looked like you had your hands full. What's going on with you guys? -- Torg (typing): We were going to spend the December holidays in space but Riff forgot to put doors in the ceiling of his underground hangar bay, you know how that goes. <tak> <tak> <tak> -- Torg (typing): Bun-Bun seems content to lie around the house and/or is up to something nefarious. (With Bun-Bun it's always safest to be oblivious of him). Kiki is her usual playful self. Sam (typing): I miss Kiki, man. <tak> <tak> -- Torg (typing): I'm sure she misses you too Sam! In other news, Aylee's gone through another "makeover." Currently she's palling around with Gwynn more than I'd like but they're roommates now with Zoë. Zoë's radio show has been delegated to late nights. I think she's worried about that. <tak> <tak> <tak> -- Torg (typing): And I have /*big news about myself!*/ <tak> <tak> <tak> -- Sam (typing): I *know*! You got all that cash the government unfroze from the old Hereti-Corp! And you're worried about Dr. Chen's release from prison! Torg (typing): /How did you know?/ Sam (typing):: I /*Grab-Alled*/ ya in an Alaskan internet-cafe! -- Torg (typing): *First* off, please don't Grab-All me in public. *Second* of all, that sounds really, really wrong. *Thirdly* you're in /Alaska?/ Sam (typing): I heard Alaska was a cool place for vampires to hang out but I got nothing but the cold shoulder from the ladies so I'm flying south. Currently I'm in a warehouse, 1650 Canning Ave in St. Paul, MN. -- Torg (typing): Hey, Sam, if you're hiding, maybe you shouldn't give your /exact location/ on /Grab-All™/ chat. <tak> <tak> <tak> -- Sam (typing): /Huh?/ Sam: Huh? <tak?> -- Computer screen: Grab-all™ Search ["Where is Sam, aka Sampire, aka Da Man, vampire of the Sam Cirkail Mamajama?"] [Search]<- <CLICK!> -- Computer Screen: Grab-all™ Search Top 5 responses: Sam's private chat: (Click for map) "...the ladies so I'm flying south. Currently I'm in a warehouse, 1650 Canning Ave in St. Paul, MN." 1/2009 (5 seconds ago) Veronica's Blogica "...What the hell is a Sam Cirkail Mamma Jamma? That guy was creepy and hit on my mom too!..." 7/2008 [Recommended Search in this Category: Restraining Order] Private email of Jo "Tooty" Blair (Click here to Stalk) "...SAMPIRE? He didn't glitter at all! He did drool alot..." 7/2004 Private email of Arminuius Vambrey (Stakelots@grab-all.com) "Let me know if you ever track down the Sam Cirkail Mama Jamma, Mr. Q-ball" -- Master Urja: Alert our fast-response team in Minnesota. Vrykovamp: Alert already sent, Master Urja. === NOTE: Refs: _Vrykolakas at war with the Sam Cirkail Mamajama_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=040315> | _Last time we saw Sam in Hell_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=041127> (panel three) | _Fourth of July_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=080705> (he's behind the bush!) | All that stuff Torg's talking about is somewhere around _here_ <http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=081125>! | Flag | ||||
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-- GPS Device: Grab-all™ Maps active hands-free: What is your destination? Random dude: Wherever the closest world-peace is! -- Caption: ***NICE*** (Random dude smiles and gives a thumbs up) -- TV: Grab-all™ Illegal Streaming Videos Search... What would you like to watch? Caption: Recent Keywords: Clint Eastwood, Charlton Heston, leaked episodes: Game of That Really Big Throne TV screen: GRIT -- Caption: **NAUGHTY** (Baby chewing and drooling over a gun) Baby: Goo Gooo <Chew-Chewww> -- Computer: Grab-All Search engine: Little Women <Tak><Tak><Tak> Bound Paper: My Book Report on the social impact of the book "Little Women by Louisa May Alcott Book: Little Women -- Computer: Displaying 1000 links to midget porn. (Woman typing looks completely shocked and mortified) Caption: **REALLY REALLY NAUGHTY!** -- Squishydodo: It's like a perfect system! === NOTE: Guy in panel 2 and 3? Totally NOT Sam. I was drawing this random guy and he started looking like Sam and the more I tried to make him NOT like Sam the more Sam-like he became! Thanks self-sabotage! If not for deadlines I'd redraw. | Flag | ||||
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Vrykolak vampire #1: This is the address. Vrykolak vampire #2: Yes. No time for subtlety. Sam has escaped us for too long. We are under orders to charge in blindly! (The sign in front of the building says: "Garlic-Nekcon 2009 | Vampire Hunter Convention | GOH ARMINIUS VAMBREY") -- Caption: Someplace else. (The following dialogue is a computer Grab-Allâ„¢ chat exchange -- Sam is pictured typing on the keyboard): Torg (typing): It's been good chatting, Sam! How long are you staying in Minnesota before heading further south? Sam (typing): I'm not in Minnesota. *I'm in Michigan.* Torg: You said you were in *"MN".* Michigan is *"MI".* Is there even a 'St. Paul' in Michigan? <tak> <tak> <tak> <tak> -- Sam: Not again! -- Sam (to his stuffed animal): If there's not a St. Paul in Michigan, *then /where the hell am I,/ Kiki 2?* -- Farmer-looking person (clicking on the lights): Hey! <CLICK> -- Farmer-looking person: What the...? *Who are you and what are you doing on my computer?* -- Sam: *Me?* What are *you* doing hanging out in a *warehouse this* late at night? Farmer-looking person (off panel): Warehouse? This isn't a warehouse! -- Sam (his speech bubble covering up the "o" in the signage): Then why does it say "Warehouse" all over this building? Farmer-looking person (now seen to be accompanied by scantily clad young women): It doesn't say /*that!*/ | Son, this is a house of ill-repute! -- (Sam looks puzzled) -- The Sam Singers: <musical notes> Sam's Da Maaaan! <musical notes> (Sam grins broadly and gives two thumbs up; he's projecting out of a circle labeled "Sam Cirkail MamaJama", with three black ladies (The Sam Singers) standing by the bottom of the circle) ==== Footnote: bROKEN | Part 2 "Interweb with the Vampire" End | Flag | ||||
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Note pinned above the counter: Rule #1 | Do not feed Z.H.O.A.S. Brains | -Torg <The Pun Demon is taped to the note> ZHOAS/Jane: CHOMP BITE Snarrrl Kiki (digging in a paper bag that is labeled "For Torg | -Riff"): I know you're hungry! You tried to eat me when I put your eye back in. Let's see what Riff bought at the store for tonight! Oh /look!/ -- Kiki: **HEAD CHEESE!** ZHOAS/Jane: **CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!** -- Kiki: I know you're not supposed to have any meat, but this is cheese! That should be OK! ZHOAS/Jane: CHOMP CHEW slurp CHEW Kiki: I want to learn more about Headcheese on the internets! <Poing> -- Caption: After five minutes of "Grab-all-ing" and Sniffopedia articles... -- Kiki: ***Don't eat it! It's NOT CHEESE AT ALL!*** === Note: Do not click on the following link unless you really have to see this stuff. You KNOW things are going downhill when I resort to _headcheese_ <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Headcheese>. ;) Who thinks I need a break? Raise hands! | Flag |
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