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-- Weaselo: Neighboring schools? I hope one of them is the *Steroideotypical Academy!* My favorite Quidsatz-Haderach scoremen are from there! Homogenize: Oh Weaslo [sic: should be "Weaselo"], you do go on about your sports heroes don't you. Why isn't Torg here this year? -- Weaselo: I don't know, Homz. I don't remember him being here /*last*/ term thanks to your time-trip. Homogenize: Oh, don't still be angry, Weaz. Look, behind Professor Gandeldorf! [sic: should be "Gandledorf"] I believe that's the Goblet of Flameyness! That means we're hosting *Try-Gizzards Tournament!* -- Weaselo: Yeah, I think I've heard of that! Homogenize: Of course, Weaslo [sic: should be "Weaselo"]! /Everyone/ has! -- (They look toward the fourth wall as if to see if the audience bought it) | Flag | ||||
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Scoreboard: Fleur +0 / 0 | Krumny +2 / 2 | Torg +3 / 9 | Nikel +0 / 0 | Dudz +1 / 1 -- Caption: 4th place: Olympian Flamolas Nikel Flamolas: I don't know why Gandledorf would choose a magicless competition! And why a race when us wizards are notoriously weak in the knees? -- Caption: 3rd place: Dudderz the Duh-mentor Dudderz: I fell on my skizzorz. (Dudderz is shown with a pair of scissors sticking out of each shoulder) -- Weaselo: Torg won all six points in the "eat or be eaten" challenge and three more for first place in this event! He'll win this whole thing no problem! Homogenize: Weaslo [sic: should be "Weaselo"], Gandeldorf [sic: should be "Gandledorf"] got to choose /*one*/ event! The other groups will choose the others, and Torg has no magic! I don't think he *can* win in the end! -- Weaselo: I can't *stand* not knowing how this is going to turn out! If only there was a faster way! Homogenize: /Montahjios Startos Tomorowkos/ -- (Starry sparkles indicating Homogenize's spell is activating) === Pete: OK the "Running of the Scissors is an obvious Weird Al ref, but here's a _link_ <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Running_with_Scissors_(album)> anywho! | Flag | ||||
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Torg: What is? Homogenize: *Millard Stoop!* I did research on him like you asked! -- Homogenize: He won the Tri-Gizzard [sic: should be "Try-Gizzard"] Tournament thirty years ago! /Wizard Supreme!/ And graduated with /top honors!/ He was the Snagger for the Wunnybun Quidsatz Haderach team. They won the championship /every year he played./ Torg: Impressive. But how is it impossible? -- Homogenize (slamming a pile of books down on the table): He's an important figure and I've never heard of him before! If it's in a book, I know it! *It's my thing!* <**SLAM**> -- Homogenize: It's like each day new details are popping up in books I've already read! But that's impossible! And something else! No photos. No personal details. Just facts. Torg: I saw a photo in Gandeldorf's [sic: should be "Gandledorf's"] yearbook. I wonder if that just appeared for him as well. -- Torg: "You Probably Don't Know Who" gains a name and Gandeldorf [sic: should be "Gandledorf"] freaked because he knows it means he's truly coming back. It's like he's coming slowly into focus. Homogenize: What are you saying? -- Torg: He's this force, this powerful evil wizard that everyone is afraid of but nobody can quite remember. Why? -- Torg (scribbling on a piece of paper): We suspected last term that he and William were using Forgetmelot [sic: should be "Forgetmelots"] curses to cover their trail. But that is a lot of people to curse. -- Torg: What if something unimaginable happened to Stoop instead? A Forgetmetlots [sic: should be "Forgetmelots"] curse so powerful that it caused its victim to be forgotten by history itself? Homogenize: /*That's impossible!*/ -- Torg: Oh really? When *I read it in this /book!?!/* -- Homogenize: That's not a book! You scribbled your hypothesis on some sheets of paper and folded them. -- Torg: /Buuuut?/ Homogenize: But it does seem more plausible now, yes. | Flag | ||||
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Torg: /**ARRRGH!**/ -- Millard Stoop: *You /dare/ mock me, Torg Potter?!? Torg (tears streaming down his face): (*)gasp(*) -- Torg: Sorry - /SORRY/... Won't happen again Mr. Stoop! You're Millard Stoop right? And that's William Wachersumptin-sumptin over there, right? -- Millard Stoop: Ah so you remember me /now,/ do you? They'll /*all*/ start to remember me now! I shall become *"You probably know who"* as opposed to "You probably don't know who!" Torg: Yeah! Congrats on that! -- Millard Stoop: But I owe my return to you, dear, sweet Torg! You were this missing ingredient to this cauldron spell that has finally restored me to my former greatness! -- Millard Stoop: It wasn't easy! By posing as Gandeldorf's [sic: should be Gandledorf's"] deliveryman, William was able to procure the Goblet of Flameyness and, using your blood and my spells, rig it so you would be chosen as the Hoggelrynth champion! -- Millard Stoop: I had William fill the prize chalice with giblets set to jibport you here, and during the challenge you would be outside the school's protection. All I had to do was wait! -- Torg: How did you *know* I would win? Millard Stoop: Did you really think Gandeldorf [sic: should be "Gandledorf"] wouldn't cheat his robes off to ensure a Hoggelryth [sic: should be "Hoggelrynth"] win? -- Torg: Hey! /*Clever!*/ Millard Stoop: I know! -- Torg: So why did you need me again? Millard Stoop: For the cauldron spell! *"Blood of the foe"!* We took some of your blood from your arm while you were unconscious. -- Torg: *Wait!* You already /*had*/ some of my blood! -- Torg: You had William stab me with a pen and get some for your goblet trick before I even went to the school, let alone got protected by it! You could have done this ages ago! -- Millard Stoop: Well crap. -- Millard Stoop (slapping William): *Dumb ass!* <**SLAP**> William: *Forgive me master!* | Flag | ||||
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Busdolf Gandledorf: You know Torg Potter's lineage, dear Goobergal. His abilities will shine. How can they not? -- Goobergal: *Wait!* What's /this?/ Look how Torg picked up that Wunnybun Ralfoy, and pantsed him! I must contact our team captain! It looks like we've found the new *Snackewyrm Snagger!* -- Madam Koochie-Koochie: Welcome to this first /Quidsatz Haderach/ match between House *Snackewyrm* and House *Wunnybun!* I'll be your referee, Madam Koochie Koochie! -- Torg: Well, I'm honored and all, but I've never played this game before. Snackewyrm Captain: /Quidsatz Haderach/ is very simple to learn! Each member of the team is part of a subgroup that handles specific tasks. For example, this self-automated attack-ball is called a "Whumper." Whumper: GRRrr -- Snackewyrm Captain (off panel): Those two up there are "whumper-slappers" They fly around on broomsticks, beating the Whumper around before it "whumps" anything. -- Snackewyrm Scoreman: This ball is a "scorey ball". We're the scoremen. We try to get the scoreyball through those little hoops. -- Snackewyrm Slacker: We're "slackers." We lean against the hoops and try to look cool while accomplishing very little. -- Snackewyrm Cliquer: We're "cliquers". We congregate and belittle those inferior freshmen nerds. Snackewyrm Iron-Chef: We're Iron Chefs. We do unusual things with /"foie gras"./ -- Baron Harkonnen: We're Harkonnen! We try to kill those blasted Atreides and harvest spice to fold space! -- Torg: And what do I do? Snackewyrm Captain: You're the /*Snagger.*/ -- Snackewyrm Captain: At your feet is a little ball called the *Buall'dib.* You get a hold of this, and everything everyone else has done is null and void. You snag this... /and we win./ -- Torg (picking up the buall'dib): *This?* Snackewyrm Quidsatz Haderach Team: /**WE WIN!**/ Snackewyrm Captain: Good job, team! Madam Koochie-Koochie: **Victory to Snackewyrm! WUNNYBUN LOSES!** Santory Snapekin: You've made powerful enemies this day, Lastnameless One! Ralfoy Malfoy: That's what *I* told him! | Flag | ||||
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Torg: He's going to make /"peanut butter and jelly?"/ I'm /so/ going to dominate in this competition. Homogenize Milktoast: Nut-butter... /nut-butter!/ Blackboard: TOP SECRET PLAN C!! | potato bread | nj tomato | baby leaf spinach | potion #1 | rare porterhouse steak | potion #2 | potato bread -- Homogenize Milktoast (shaking Torg): *Don't you see? Snapekin's after the /Sorcerer's Nuts!/ Why didn't we see it before? And now the sandwich contest is a /perfect cover!/ -- Torg: What? Homogenize, what are you talking about? What do sandwiches have to do with magic nuts... /*Wait!*/ -- Torg: You think Snapekin's going to make peanut butter out of the nuts! Homogenize Milktoast: That's why he was specific on having access to /*all*/ the ingredients at Hoggelryth [sic: should be "Hoggelrynth"]! -- Weaselo Ronsnaps: Snapekin eats Sorcerer's-nut-butter sandwich and becomes a god. /Scaaaary./ Torg: Can't happen! He can't make peanut butter out of nuts that aren't peanuts! That's... that's false advertising! -- Weaselo Ronsnaps: What if he accents the peanuts with a few pine nuts, a hazelnut or two, *The Sorcerer's Nuts...* Torg: My God! That sounds delicious! He'll have a good shot at winning the competition with that. He must be stopped! -- Weaselo Ronsnaps: We'll warn Gandledorf. Homogenize Milktoast: Gandledorf gave his word! /"Any ingredients"/ including the nuts. He can't stop Professor Snapekin! -- Torg: Then it's up to us. We grab the Sorcerer's Nuts tonight. | Flag | ||||
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Homogenize Milktoast: I can't believe you're wasting this store's vast resources on smut! Weaselo Ronsnaps: Not just smut! /*All*/ the smut ever written! Torg (annoyed): What am I doing? I /*have*/ the internet! Various Signs around the shop: "Sheds & Lorders" "Lepht" "Rite" "PeYoRn" -- Weaselo: Homogenized [sic: should be "Homogenize"], your arms are going to break off from all those books! They aren't free you know! Homogenize: But the great wizard Goldilocks Lumphead is having a signing in an hour and I don't have his complete set... -- <**CRASH!**> One Book's title: "Goldilocks Lumphead | My Crystal Balls" -- (Homogenize is kneeling on the floor amongst her fallen books, and looking up worriedly) -- Ralfoy Malfoy (raising his wand): *Watch where you are running, you filthy little /mudblood!/* -- Torg (holding Ralfoy up by his collar): Ralfoy Malfoy. You weren't going to be rude, were you? I'd hate for it to be wedgie-time so early in the game. -- Lucius Malfoy (off panel): A "wedgie". What, I ponder, could /*that*/ mean? -- Lucius: Allow me to help you with your books, Miss Milktoast, is it? | /STACKICUS CRAPICUS/ -- Lucius (off panel): There is no need to be rude to one to be pitied. You cannot help that you were muggle born. -- Lucius Malfoy: No more than this Ronsnaps boy can be blamed for his parents lacking the money to even feed him. (Homogenize turns away with her stack of books, distressed; Ron is angry; Ralfoy grins as his father fights his battle for him) -- Lucius: Ah... *Torg the Lastnameless One!* Muggle raised and found by Gandledorf. Your lastnamelessness is legendary! As is /You-Probably-Don't-Know-Who/, who caused it! Torg: /Who?/ Lucius: You probably don't know him. Torg (wiggling his fingers): *MYSTEEERIOUS!* -- Lucius Malfoy: A little old to be attending Hoggelrynth, don't you think? Ah, but as the Lastnameless One, I suppose we have no choice but to acquiesce to your immaturity. -- Lucius: However I would be very disappointed if I found you were using your status and your amity with Gandledorf to cause any misdeeds to befall my son or *any* other students at the school. -- Torg: Who are you again? Lucius: Truly, it is a wonder why I even /wear/ this name tag. -- Name Tag: I'm a BadGuy! | My name is: | Lucius Malfoy -- Torg: /*Luscious?*/ Luscious Malfoy? Lucius: *Lucius!* It's pronounced /Loo-See-Uss!/ Other Sheds and Lorders patrons: BWAAA HA HA HA HA HA HEE HA HEE HEE TEE HEE HA HOO HOO HEE HEE HA HA HAW HA HEE HAW -- Lucius: *I will make you wish that you were never born! Ralfoy? Come.* Torg (waving after him): *Toodles, Luscious!* Other Sheds and Lorders patrons: HA HA HA HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HA HA HA | Flag | ||||
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Torg: Enough dragging this out! *Torg bash! Torg bash good!* -- (Torg kick door open) <***KICK***> -- Snapekin and Stank (casting magic at Torg, Homogenize, and Weaselo): /*FREEZYURAHS*/ -- Torg (unable to move): OK, maybe we should have peeked in the window first. -- Snapekin (pointing his wand at Thrope): Some cavalry but it will do. Call the headmaster! *Stank and Professor Thrope are in league!* Stank (pointing both of his wands at Snapekin): Oh just because we used to call you /"Gory Santory Snapekin"/ back in our school days... Thrope (pointing his wand at Snapekin): I an /*not*/ working with Stank! -- Snapekin: *Then explain why you stole Torg's record from Gandeldorf's [sic: should be "Gandledorf's"] office!* Thrope (removing the 'freeze' spell on Torg and friends with his wand): /*Thawyurbutz!*/ It's true I did it, but only to keep you safe! As soon that [sic: should be "as"] I heard the murderer I once called friend was loose I thought he would seek you out to finish the job! -- Stank: Thrope, you believed I'd try to murder Torg? People died by my hand, true, but I am not to blame! There is more to my story! Torg: Look Stank... I got your ransom note! You wanted me, now let Weaslo's [sic: should be "Weaselo's" familiar go! (Behind them is Sneezy the Weasel, in a cage hanging from the ceiling) -- Stank (pointing one wand at Torg and the other at Snapekin): I didn't write you anything! /*I*/ got a note saying I had to come here or be turned over to the Duh-mentors! Snapekin (holding his note in one hand, and pointing his wand at Stank with the other): My note /*dared*/ call me a *doody-nose* and left this address. Thrope: Mine said you were walking into a trap and refused to act with subtlety and nuance! Homogenize: I wrote that one. Torg: Well /*I*/ wrote one of my own. -- Caption: Earlier: Duh-mentor #1: Blearious Stank dares us to capture him in the meeting-shack. And he knows our darkest secret: That our noses are made of poo! Duh-mentor #2: He must be silenced! -- (The Duh-Mentors are converging on the Meeting-House) Stank: /**NO!**/ Torg: They're coming for you. It's *over*, Stank! -- Sneezy the Weasel (opening the cage door): Yes it is. But not /*just*/ over for *him!* -- Weaselo: *Sneezy the Weasel? Did you just talk?!?* Sneezy the Weasel: I'm not a weasel! I'm ... -- Sneezy the Weasel (looks at self): Well... crap! | Flag | ||||
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Weaselo: What would Snapekin be doing near the restricted area of the third floor? Red piece: WHOO -- Torg: I don't know, but that mountain troll was obviously guarding something! Red piece: WHAHAAAAAAA! Yellow piece: GASP! -- Homogenize: It makes sense! I overheard Headmaster Gandledorf talking to Professor Goobergal. They said they have to be careful because of the Sorcerer's Nuts. The troll is guarding the Nuts. -- Torg (to Weaselo): Pinky, do you know what the Brain here is talking about? Yellow piece: HAAAA! Red piece: WOH-PAH! -- Homogenize: Really, don't you two read /anything?/ According to *"A History of Places That are a Real Bugger to Get to,"* the Sorcerer's Nuts are three acorns picked from the World Tree by a powerful anonymous sorcerer. After eating one of the nuts he increased dramatically in power and longevity. -- Homogenize: He pondered that if one were to eat the last two nuts, one would become a god. He vanished trying to return those last acorns to the World Tree. No one knows what happened to him. (Yellow Queen extends her spear and pierces a red piece's armor) <*CHUNK!*> Torg (in response to the game): nuts. -- (Yellow Queen pulls the red piece to her) Yellow Queen: GET OVER HERE! -- Torg: So we've got a sorcerer on the third floor whose holding his nuts out of fear that someone's going to rip them off. Homogenize: Precisely. -- Torg: What if the troll eats the nuts? (Yellow Queen hoists the red piece into the air by its neck) Wizard Chess Announcer: FINISH HIM! -- (Yellow Queen yanks the red piece's skull and spine out of its body) Wizard Chess Announcer: FLAWLESS CHECKMATE. Red King: nuts | Flag | ||||
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-- Flavorsaver: Dudderz shall battle... /the Three Headed Hydrasaur!/ Dudderz: Can I skip the gizzards and just eat the soul(s)? Flavorsaver: Sure, why not! -- Flavorsaver: Flamolas Nikel shall battle... the /Wyverlith!/ Flamolas (whispering): I do not trust Gandeldorf [sic: should be "Gandledorf"] /*not*/ to favor his schools [sic: should be "school's"] champion. Fleur (whispering): Favoratism would be obvious in zis chall/*ange!*/ (Torg stands off from the other students; with growing dread and concern) -- Flavorsaver (off-screen): And finally Torg shall battle... /the Chicken!/ (Torg is surprised) -- (Torg looks at tiny chicken on his hand and smiles) Tiny chicken: cluk cluk cluk *ba-gok!* -- (In the arena Torg, clutching a bottle of BBQ sauce, flees a twenty-foot chicken wielding an equally massive sword) Chicken: ****BA-GOK!**** | Flag | ||||
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Torg: Anything to keep that Gobby away from me! *Look out for that pigeon!* -- <**SPLAT!**> Weaselo: ~AUGH!~ Torg: Weaselo, you can't even drive this thing! Why would they send you for me? -- Weaselo: Actually, my twin brothers Billy-Bob, and Bobby-Bill were supposed to pick you up. But they were busy doing time in the big house. Oh, and that's me mum, Ruby Ronsnaps, my sister Gintoniky, my older brother Smokey Ronsnaps (Who fights fires with werebears in Canada)... (Torg is looking at a magic photo of "The Ronsnapses" (actually a picture of "the Waltons"); three of them waving) -- Torg: *Weaselo! Eyes on the road!* Weaselo: I'm not driving on the road! This is a flying car! Torg: *NO, YOU'RE ABOUT TO CRASH INTO THE ROAD!* --- Torg and Weaselo: **EEEEY-AAAAAH!** <*SCRAPEITTY-SKID-SKID*> === NOTE: Animated Gif: Currently any animated gif comics have not been resized for the new archive due to it breaking the animation. | Flag | ||||
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-- Weaselo: I can't believe he used to be a /*florist!*/ "Mad-Mouth" Loogy is downright scary! Homogenize: He /should/ be! He gave up the family trade to hunt dark wizards, and from what I hear he was /relentless!/ No matter the cost, he'd never give up the hunt. Loogy (off panel): *CLASS!* -- Loogy: I am *Professor Loogy!* Today we will study the most *feared* curses in existence so you'll all know what you're up against when facing a *dark wizard!* -- Torg: /Good God!/ Look at him! /"No matter the cost?"/ The dark wizards took his eye *and his mouth?!?* -- Torg: Or did you use your "montage" spell on him? Homogenize: Those are all from florist accidents. He's notoriously poor with pruning shears, but pretty relentless there too. | Flag | ||||
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Torg: Never noticed it before. Wonder if those other daily owls had them too. -- Riff: Who's it from, Torg? Torg: Publishers clearing house. /"I may already be a winner"./ -- Riff: Is nothing sacred to those marketers? Torg: I may already be a winner but I ate my entry number! /*NOOOOOOO!*/ Gandledorf's Owl: Are you Torg? | Flag | ||||
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Torg (coughing up an owl bone): *We're not eating marketing owls!* -- Caption: Later, at Bus Station 2 and 4/4ths (Torg is wearing sunglasses and carrying a beachball and a cooler marked "BEER") Riff: I can't believe you're going back to school. Torg: My chance to be big man on campus again with no tuition? Rock on! -- (Pan out to show they are standing in a crowd of eleven year old Hoggelrynth pupils; Homogenize Milktoast and Weaselo Ronsnaps at center front) Riff: Big man is right. Torg: The co-eds seem a little short. | Flag | ||||
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Weaselo: *500 points!?!* That's enough to ensure the House Cup! -- Goobergal (as a cat): I have sampled Torg's sandwich creations and have no fear of losing. I accept your terms, Professor Snapekin. Snapekin: So long as I have access to /*all*/ the ingredients at Hoggelrynth. Agreed? Gandledorf: /*Agreed!*/ The *Wunnybun-Snackewyrm Sandwich Competition* begins in the morning! -- Snapekin: *I will teach you how to spread mustard on fame, mayo on glory and even stick an olive-topped toothpick through /death!/* -- Torg: That guy takes himself far too seriously. Ralfoy: What kind of sandwich will we make? Snapekin: *Peanut butter and jelly!* | Flag | ||||
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-- Homogenize: /*"A duh-mentor from the wizard prison shall compete"?*/ Torg: I wanted to see them try to get the little gym-shorts on a duh-mentor! -- Gamemaster Flavorsaver: S-s-sooo c-c-cooold! Dudderz (the Duh-mentor): Noooo touchy! -- Homogenize: Torg /stop screwing around!/ The note was supposed to read /"Torg has won the tournament. The school is saved!"/ Torg: Weaselo will shoot that note 5 minutes after the first event starts. I was just goofin' around a little! What could it hurt? -- Lackey #1: /*Oy!*/ Why are we shipping the goblet back to the ministry? Lackey #2: It appears to be malfunctioning. -- Lackey #2: And since it has no real part in the rest of the tournament, what could it hurt to send it away? -- (Torg, Homogenize, and Weaselo stare in horror as their plan to save the tournament flies away) -- Torg: *WEASLO! [sic: should be "WEASELO!"] QUIT GOOFING AROUND!* Gamemaster Flavorsaver: All c-c-competitors to the c-competitors tent. *Where are the wranglers?* We c-c-cant start the first event without the *man-eating monsters!* | Flag | ||||
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(Torg is enveloped in a magical field and transported away from the house) Gobby: Come back! Gobby has prepared a series of paper cuts to keep you safe! -- <*WAP!*> (Torg is now glommed onto the flying car that Weaselo is 'driving') Torg: *Weaslo!?!* [sic: should be "Weaselo"] Weaselo: I'm here to *rescue* you, Torg! Headmaster Gandledorf had my dad keep an eye on you just in case. He works for the /Ministry of Ministering/ you know, and he sent me to rescue you as soon as he sensed magic in the area! -- Torg and Weaselo: *WHOAH!* (the car has rolled so that it is now flying upside down) -- Torg: Your rescue is gonna kill me! Weaselo: I'm rather new at this! Should we land and walk the rest of the way? Torg: Depends. Intentional landing or abrupt accidental one? | Flag | ||||
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(Weaselo is holding up "The Occasional Profit", whose headline proclaims "Torg Tastes Victory!" followed by a (no longer) animated gif of a giant sword wielding chicken chasing Torg) -- Torg (looking at the newspaper): That's one for the scrapbook, Weaslo [sic: should be "Weaselo"]. Weaselo: Flamolas Nikel! -- <**GRAB!**> (Flamolas grabs the newspaper away from Torg) Flamolas: And /*this*/ is all I need to prove that you /*cheated,*/ Torg! The gamesmaster, and the headmaster are here to witness your *stolen* victory! Torg: /*Gulp!*/ -- Flamolas: Wait just a few more seconds!... That's it!... **PAUSE* the picture *THERE!** | *aha!* -- Flamolas: /THERE'S THE CHEAT!/ Gamemaster Flavorsaver: You were all instructed to be resourceful and use the tools around you in this challenge. That's all I see Torg doing! -- Flamolas (holding up "The Occasional Profit"): *Jumping into the stands and using a fellow student as a /tool?/* (Under the headline "Torg Tastes Victory" the paused figure shows Torg holding up Homogenize, who is casting some sort of spell on the giant chicken with her wand) -- Gandledorf: Very resourceful. He must have known Ms. Milktoast excelled in culinary fowl-basting spells. Homogenize: I excel in all spells actually. -- Flamolas: If that was Torg's plan why was he yelling /*"Eat her! I'm old and stringy!"*/ Homogenize: /Yeah/ I was going to ask about that! Torg: I was simply executing Plan A and Plan B simultaneously! Gamemaster: /*Bravo!*/ <clap clap> | Flag | ||||
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Torg: Mostly of me, Homogenized [sic: should be "Homogenize"]. Why are we here? Weaselo Ronsnaps: This is the *ladies' restroom!* I'll catch /*cooties!*/ -- Homogenize: This bathroom is the perfect place for privacy! Nobody ever comes in here because of the weretoilet. Torg: /"Weretoilet?"/ Homogenize: Half toilet, half beast. -- Weretoilet: *HOWL-AOOOOU! FLUSHHHHH.* Homogenize: I don't want to go into details, but if somebody leaves the seat up, it could mean our doom! Weaselo: Agh! -- Homogenize: Torg, you know someone's trying to frame you, and we all agree it's someone in House Wunnybun. I'm working on a potion that will allow us to spy on them. It'll take a few days, which is why I need the privacy. -- Weaselo: /*Days?!?*/ Won't it look suspicious for a girl to spend days in the bathroom? Torg: Not touching that one. | Flag | ||||
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Homogenize: Maybe you're not completely devoid of magic! Maybe Weaslo [sic: should be "Weaselo"] and I could teach you! -- Weaselo: In one night? Bloody how? Homogenize: /Montahjio Cinematicus!/ -- (Three panels of colors and pretty stars) -- (Torg is now completely bandaged and in traction) Homogenize: I don't understand! The spell was supposed to speed up time by showing a montage of our training, bringing us very quickly to the end result! Weaselo: /What went wrong?/ Homogenize: *Nothing!* The spell worked *perfectly!* Ronsnaps: We're doomed. Torg (annoyed): By the way, /*OW!*/ | Flag |
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