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<Duh-Duh-DAH> -- <Duh-DuhDAH> <musical note> <Duh-Duh> Upperclassbaybs: We are Ms. She-Wizard, We are Ms. Hot!* <musical note> <buh-doot-de-doot> Footnote: *Sung to the tune of "The Snow Miser" song. -- Upperclassbaybs: We are Ms. Icicle we're Ms. You-Got-No-Shot <ba-Rooo> -- Upperclassbaybs: Friends call us ze flirt-teasers, <musical note> Our beauty is such... -- Upperclassbaybs: You want zis <musical note> beauty so much... -- Upperclassbaybs: Yooou Can't Touch! <musical note> <Duh-DuhDAH> -- (Snivel Longshanks (with bug-eyes and a silly grin), Weaselo (with his mouth open), and Homogenize Milktoast look on in shock) -- Homogenize (annoyed): You /*can*/ dehydrate through your mouth however. === Note: _Snow Miser Song | Ref_ <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yon2YuXssvo&NR=1> | Flag | ||||
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Torg (holding up a piece of paper): Well look what I found in my locker! -- Torg: It says /"At dusk, remember Q.H."/ And it has a doodle of a broom. I think someone's trying to give me a heads-up! Homogenize: /A broom!/ It must involve flying! That narrows it down. -- Homogenize: It could be "The Organ-Grinder", or "Bobbing for Air-Goblins", "The Vertical Maze", or... Torg: Wait! When Gandeldorf [sic: should be "Gandledorf"] first told me about the Try-Gizzard tournament I think he showed me a Hedge-Maze! -- Homogenize (excited): That's it! *The Vertical Maze!* You'll all have to race through it on brooms in search of some trophy! -- Torg: Except I can't fly on a broom. Hey! Unless it is "The Organ-Grinder" and the broom is to sweep up what's left of my spleen! Homogenize: *I messed up your spleen! I get it! Get over it already.* | Flag | ||||
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-- Torg: This is the first time I've met you, Homnigrits! Homnigrits: Last time I saw ye, ye were just a wee baby, Lastnameless One! -- Torg: Enough with the "Lastnameless One" crap! I have a last name! It's... /*gumph!*/ Homnigrits: /*Shhhh!*/ Yeh can't be sayin' it out loud, Torg! It must be dangerous or you'd have never gotten that nickname! -- Snapekin (to himself; watching from around the corner): I know your name, /*Torg Potter!*/ Homnigrits: /Besides, it's *mys-teeer-ious!* That's a good thing ta be around here!/ -- Homnigrits: Take meeself for 'xample! I'm referred to as "Homnigrits, the man who goes where few fear to tread". -- Torg (cynically): "Where few fear to tread?" Homnigrits: The mall, mostly. Not too many fear ta go there. Torg: And that makes you mysterious? Homnigrits: *Mis-/teer/-ious!* Ya gots ta wiggle ye fingers when ye say it. | Flag | ||||
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-- Duh-mentor: Gimmie your lunch money. Torg: No. -- (The duh-mentor rises up and sucks the warmth out of Torg) -- Duh-mentor (holding Torg's lunch money): heh heh. -- Duh-mentor: Here comes the fat one! Let us commence the unholy pantsing! Snivel Longshanks (running away): *Not again!* | Flag | ||||
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-- Malfoy (prostrating himself): Forgive me, Master! I, like the others, had your memories stricken from my mind yet I alone knew that the way for your return, whoever the heck you were, must be made! -- Malfoy: *Gandeldorf [sic: should be "Gandledorf"]* is your enemy! The *school* is your enemy! With the aid of my agent on the faculty I could have removed them /*both!*/ Millard Stoop: And made some gold in the real estate business, eh, Lucius? Malfoy: All for the *greater good,* Millard! Millard Stoop: *Do not call me that!* -- (Millard writes "Millard Dynam Stoop" in the air above him) Millard: *I reject my mudblood father's name!* I am Millard Dynam Stoop *no more!* -- (Everyone is looking up at the letters, except Torg who is glancing at the others; Millard twirls his wand, making the letters jumble) Millard: I am reborn as.... -- (The sky now reads "A Tipsy Mom Landlord"; Two unidentified death eaters look at each other; Malfoy and William look at Millard, who is unhappily looking upward; Torg is looking up but moving a little bit away from the group) Death Eater 1: Uh, yeah Death Eater 2: Yeah. I dunno Malfoy: All hail "Mom?" Millard: Let me try that again! -- (Millard jumbles the letters again; everyone looks up; and Torg edges further away...) Millard: I am reborn as... -- (The letters now form "A Nimrod Plots Madly"; Torg is gone) Death Eater 1: Closer to the mark? Death Eater 2: shhhh! Millard: I'm no damn good at these things. William: Try using the I and M as /"I'm!"/ -- (Millard jumbles the letters again) -- (Now the letters spell "I'm a Slorddly Tampon" Malfoy: (*)gasp(*) ...s-s-Slorddly's not even a word! William: If the master says it, then it /*is!*/ | Flag | ||||
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Torg: Snapekin. Kiki: /*Kiki!*/ -- (Professors talk to Torg; Gandledorf turns away, whistling) Snapekin: Well Torg, it appears some of our new teachers wanted a chance to fawn all over the great Lastnameless One. A cheap excuse to establish setting if you ask me, and I'll have no part in it! Thrope: Torg! I've been looking forward to this for a... -- Snapekin: *God I hate you, Thrope! With a long standing passion! You untrustworthy...* Thrope: Piss off, /"Gory/ Santory." -- (Snapekin storms off while Torg high-fives Thrope) Torg: I like you already! Thrope: Up top! <*slap!*> -- Thrope: I'm Professor Aymaliken Thrope, your new wizard high-fivin' teacher. -- (Torg low-fives Thrope) Thrope: On the low-down. Students: ooo! | ooo! | ooo! <**slap!**> -- Thrope: This is Professor Kate Bahlmajik, our new divination teacher! Bahlmajik: *Darkness! Murder! Horrible fates I see for your familiars!* Homnigrits: Nonsense! We'll take great care of 'em! Gandeldorf's named me new familiars teacher since I did such a good job o' takin' care of all the magical animals at Hoggelrynth! -- Homogenize and Weaselo: *Congratulations Homnigrits!* Torg: Magical animals? -- Homnigrits: I gives em food and water and great big hugs. Torg: What magical ani...? Uh... did you say /"great big hugs?"/ -- (Torg looks perturbed) Homnigrits: Then after the hugs me mind goes blank like it ain't wantin' to accept somethin' and I move on to me next magical animal. Kiki: I like hugs! -- Bahlmajik: It's a shame both our elective courses are at the same time, Professor Homnigrits! Torg and Weaselo: *We're signing up for divination!* Goobergal (as a cat): Students, professors, let's get inside! -- Homogenize: Why so worried, Professor Goobergal? Goobergal (as a cat; looking worried): *The duh-mentors are here!* -- Thrope, Homnigrits, Weaselo, and Homogenize: ***GASP!*** -- (Torg stands face-to-face at a group of duh-mentors) -- (The lead duh-mentor shoves Torg) <*shove*> -- Torg: /*Hey!*/ Thrope: *Torg! Don't!* It's a /*trap!*/ | Flag |
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