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Torg: Like this rocket-launcher you dropped when you first arrived? -- Riff (now holding the rocket launcher): Gimmie that. Torg (now holding the remote): Quit it. What's that remote for? Riff: One last surprise for Hereti-Corp. Absolute last-resort stuff. Torg: *You wired the place to blow?* -- (Cloney gets ready to strike from the ceiling) -- Cloney (aka Aylee): Then you better hit that button before I count to three! -- Cloney (aka Aylee): ONE! (Cloney bats down Gwynn; Oasis leaps up to Cloney in a fool's attack; Riff ducks; the remote is in the air) -- Cloney: TWO! (Sasha is running away against the wall; Cloney bats at Oasis like an annoying insect; Torg is knocked off his feet; Riff tries to take aim) -- (Oasis is slammed against Sasha and the wall) -- (Oasis drops to the ground, Sasha stares in shock) -- (Sasha slumps over) --- (Empty wall where Sasha was standing) - Cloney (off panel): THREE! - (Riff fires the rocket-launcher; Torg grabs for the remote (which is off panel) --- (The rocket hits Cloney, surrounding her in a fireball) -- (A claw comes out of Cloney's smoking shell) -- (Cloney swats at Riff, hitting him in the leg) -- Cloney: Um... THREE AND A HALF! (She tries to Swipe Torg who ducks behind the desk) -- (Riff, Sasha, Oasis and Gwynn lie motionless and bleeding on the floor) -- Cloney (crouching by the desk that Torg is hiding behind): Push the button Torg. I'm sure my shell can take whatever Riff planned on dishing out. Can you say the same for the friends who aren't quite dead yet? | Flag | ||||
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(Torg is chained, head and hands in stocks, with one hand replaced by a chainsaw) -- Torg (narrating): A demon named *Kizke* took my friend Gwynn, and then took my hand. (a K'Z'K-possessed Gwynn; Torg stares at his hand, which is green and warty) Torg's hand (sticking out a tongue): Pbbbt. -- Torg (narrating): So I traded up for a chainsaw. (Torg holds a rifle in one hand, a chainsaw replacing the other; monster eyes and fangy teeth visible in the dark background) <***BZZZZ***> -- Torg (narrating): I managed to blast Kizke into the past using the *Book of E-Ville*.... -- Torg (narrating): ...but it took me with it. -- Panel Title: TORG vs. THE ARMY OF K'Z'K -- Zoë: *That's not how it happened!* Torg: *Who's telling this story?* Bard: She's right, you don't have a chainsaw for a hand. Torg: You don't even know what a chainsaw is, buddy! -- Bard: Unless the word "chainsaw" means "hands like a lady" Torg: *Hey!* Zoë: Torg, quit the Hollywood embellishing and tell it straight. -- Torg (narrating): *Whatever.* We are from the future. We had this Time Machine, and it malfunctioned and sent us here instead of the year 2000. -- Bard (rolling his eyes): Oh, *this* version is believable. Torg: OK, how about: "We're from a far away land sent here by leprechauns." Bard: Whatever. -- Torg (narrating): There were men on horses waiting for us, like we were expected. -- Torg (narrating): Out of nowhere, masked riders scooped us up and rode off with us. -- King Sighard: Kill the Mercians! Osric: Be careful, King Sighard! You might hit the "Storm Breaker"! -- Sighard: Osric, *you forget your place.* Did your prophecy include her befriending my mortal enemy? *Consorting with the Warlord of Mercia?* -- Sighard: *Fire!* (arrows fly) -- (Three arrows strike the knight and horse carrying Zoë) -- Zoë (fallen on the ground, arrows flying above her): *Torg!* -- Torg (still on a horse, a knight's shield above him stopping two arrows): *Zoë!* -- Mercian knight: He's trying to leap from the horse! Has he gone daft? Mercian knight #2: Careful how you refer to our ruler. We *must* bring him home! -- Trent knight: They have eluded us, my King. Sighard: At least I have *this* one to vent my anger upon! -- Osric: She is the *Storm Breaker!* As foretold she will do battle with the demon Kizke, who plagues our land! Sighard: *This beggar woman will do battle with the executioner's axe!* -- Title: Sluggy Freelance presents | The Storm Breaker Saga I | The Warlord | Flag | ||||
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One-person apartment, decorated and shiny, (Torg's apartment, decorated for Christmas; Torg is sleeping on the table) -- Caption: Zoë and Gwynn snuggled in the lone bed. -- Caption: Under the table Riff rested his head. Riff: ZZz -- Caption: Over the table Torg dreamt of the pub. (Torg, sleeping on table, dreaming of Crystal holding a pitcher of beer) -- Caption: While Aylee lounged comfortably in the bathtub. Alyee: ZZZ -- Caption: When there arose such a clattery noise, <***BAM BAM BAM***> <**ding dong**> (Torg and Riff are abruptly awakened; Riff bangs his head on the table) -- Caption: Everyone ran to find... Santa-bun-bun? /With toys?/ (Bun-Bun is in a Santa hat holding a sack full of presents; Kiki is behind him wearing bell laden antlers) Bun-Bun: What? You were expecting maybe the Easter bunny? | Flag | ||||
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-- Torg: Back to eat another tree? I wish you'd pick a different one; this one's kind-of homey. Aylee: Why are you still around, Torg? You're making my people less cheery! -- Torg: I was just thinking about things. Like up on the space station. Here and there, children playing and laughing... -- Torg: This alien species shows up and wipes them to near extinction, but the children eventually develop this boredom of being scared or something. -- Aylee: Yeah. I don't think I want to eat children. Torg (glaring): Just the grown ups then? Aylee: It's not about my appetite anymore. I'm appreciated here, Torg! I *belong!* I feel it in my /*heart!*/ I've also got a duty. A responsibility to my kind. -- Torg: Maybe I do too. I mean I have a comm-thingy right here. If I warn Secretary Rammer he'll probably toast this site from space to protect the garden. And you, being lookout flyer, would be target number one. -- Torg: So now you must be considering killing me. The best way to ensure not only a victory for your people but your own survival. An easy choice, right? -- Aylee (glowering): Thanks, Torg! I'm going to be up all night thinking in a tree too. -- Torg: Friends, family. What's convenient, what's right, what's wrong. Tough choices. What do we do? I guess we'll know by morning. -- (Flash over to home dimension where a shirtless Riff labors in the sun with a shovel and stops to look painfully at an object in his hand labeled "BOOM"; and Schlock standing by a diagram of the Dimensional Flux Agitator wringing his hands) -- Aylee: /Orrrrr,/ you could just do what I told you and go home, Torg! You said you didn't want to get involved in this world. You don't have to open the portal at a specific time anymore. Open it, go home, close it, and the choice is out of your hands. -- Torg: Let's put aside the fact that once the return portal is used there'll be no way for you to follow me back, no way for me to find you again. -- Torg (angrily): With everything on the line you really expect me to run away? Is that the way you think I am? -- </Flashbacks> (Zoë chasing Torg and Riff with a paint roller) Torg (with a bucket of paint on his head): /*RUN AWAY!!!*/ -- (Torg and Riff running away from weapons fire) Torg: /*RUN AWAY!!!*/ <**ZAP**> <**ZAPPO**> <**ZIPPY**> <**ZOT**> -- (Squintyhoyo pointing after Riff and Torg) Squintyhoyo: *After them!* Torg and Riff (off panel): ***RUN AWAY!*** -- (Aylee, Torg and Zoë fearfully holding onto each other in the back of a pickup truck) Torg: /*RUN AWAY!*/ <***KA-KLICK***> -- (Lady (Alt-)Gwynn, Torg (with Chaz), Alt-Zoë, and Alt-Bun-Bun running in the Dimension of Lame's sewer) Torg: ***RUN AWAY!*** <**SPLISH!**> <**SPLASH!**> <**SPLISH!**> <**SPLASH!**> -- Torg (running away from Homogenize): /*Run away very quickly!!!!*/ -- (Superhero Halloween: with Torg (dressed as SuperTorg) and Riff (dressed as BatMan) leading the um, charge?) Torg: /*Run away!*/ </End flashbacks> -- Aylee: And then there was the time when that mean family of geese... Torg: All right, *all right* already, point taken! | Flag | ||||
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Crystal: What happened to you guys? Riff: Gwynn's just in a mood. Nothing to fear. Crystal: Where's the bar? I brought one of my new mixed drinks! Torg and Riff: **EEYAAAAA!** -- Crystal (angry): Funny, guys. Riff: What is it? Crystal: My new special pimento-olive wine-cooler! -- Riff: Holy "Turpenwine", Batman! Torg: Good God, Crystal! I think the fumes ate half my brain! Bert: *That'll strip oils off my canvases!* | Flag | ||||
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-- Min (holding up the PSPuny): Plus I get to play with this! /Bye!/ -- Torg (wearing a blue shirt with "Stold" written on it): No food? *No potty?!?* Not that you need one without the other... Gwynn (wearing a green shirt with "Borowd" written on it): She's a lot nicer about us invading her personal space thoroughly when Riff's around. -- Zoë (off panel; from inside Crystal's "BAR"): Riff, I've got to get out of that house! Where are you guys living again? -- Riff: Er, um, no place. Listen, you can't leave, Zoë! We need you there! Zoë: But I miss you guys! I was wrong to abandon you! And the cloners smell like anchovies *all* the *time!* -- Riff: It's more important that you keep them away from Aylee. Just a sample of her could spawn a race that would destroy all life on our planet. Have you secured the basement from prying eyes? Zoë: That was tricky. It almost backfired! -- </Flashback #1> (Basement entrance is chained, with a sign above it saying "Women's Changing Room" and a sign to the side of it saying "Keep Out!") Bill and Phil: **OOOOOOOooooh!** (Bill is holding a drill and Phil is holding bolt cutters) Zoë (hiding in the nearby bushes; annoyed): *Creepy cloner geeks.* </End flashback #1> -- </Flashback #2> ("Changing Room" sign replaced with "Feminine Hygiene Area") Bill and Phil: **OOOOOOOooooh!** Zoë (hiding in the nearby bushes; creeped out): /*CREEPY cloner geeks!*/ </End flashback #2> -- </Flashback #3> ("Come in!" replaces "Keep out!" and "General Hygiene Area (You know, showers, toothbrushes, deodorant)" replaces "Feminine Hygiene Area") Bill and Phil (running away; dropping the drill and bolt cutters): /**yaaaAAAAAAAA!**/ Zoë (leaning back in the nearby bushes; smiling): Creepy cloner geeks. </End flashback #3> -- Riff: Just keep an eye on them, Zoë. I want to know what their "special project" is going to be. And why they need to use our home as a secret lab... -- Zoë (as Riff looks frozen): Riff? -- Zoë: Riff, are you OK? Riff (crying): **I WANT A SECRET LAB!** -- Zoë (patting Riff's back): /Shhh!/ It's OK. <PAT> <PAT> Riff (face down on the table): I... had a budget once! Zoë: I remember. It was very nice. | Flag | ||||
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=== Ash (aka Andy) + 2 avengers (off panel): **YEARGH!** Jester of Death (aka "Joe Sunday"): I never win nuthin' (From the 10.31.01 comic) -- (The following dialog is clipped (edited to fit your screen)): DJ Sniff-N-Scratch: *HEY-HEY, PEOPLE! YOU'RE DANCING TO THE GROOVITUDE OF DJ SNIFF-N-SCRATCH AT CLUB BADDITUDINALS! REMEMBER TO TIP YO' SERVERS! YOW!* Gwynn: Have I mentioned recently how great it's been to have you back? [NOTE: The blonde girl holding her nose while she's dancing near the center of the panel is trillian, aka Thyla] (From the 01.19.03 comic) -- Kiki: You do such neat tricks! You're the neatest shadow ever! Groundhog's shadow (now Bun-Bun's): Thank you, Kiki! (The Groundhog's shadow is doing a shadow form of Thyla while Bun-Bun fumes) (From the 4.26.02 comic) -- Joe Sunday: Someone's looking for a fight! Shirt Guy Tom: Bring it on, lightweight! Pete: Yes! An ultimate battle! To the winner, the spoils of the week! To the loser, death by pack of rabid puffin-dingoes! - Joe Sunday: "Puffin-Dingoes? Pete: Hideous genetic mutations. Did I mention they were rabid? - Joe Sunday: I was thinking we'd just arm wrestle for it. Pete: Arm wrestle first. *Then* rabid puffin-dingoes! Shirt guy Tom: Aren't you supposed to be on vacation or something? (From the 03.16.02 comic) | Flag | ||||
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=== (Panel 7 from 12/23/2004 (colored); Kiki in a Santa hat; Riff in the middle of wrapping Torg's present; Gwynn in reindeer antlers, helping herself to the punch; and Zoë bringing out a fresh batch of cookies fresh from the oven; Christmas lights lighting up the scene) | Flag | ||||
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Gwynn: My friends will put it together and come for me -- Zoë: I've been having weird dreams lately! Riff (head down, almost embarrassed): Me too. Torg: Yeah, ever since I lost my PS2, I've been dreaming about nothing but fighting games. Like, take last night, for example! -- Caption: Sluggy Freelance presents: | Torg Dream Fighters Anime Dream Zoë: I'm very naughty today. -- Anime Dream Sasha: *You killed my fish!* Anime Dream Zoë: Why does that pickle you? Game Voice: **START!** -- Anime Sasha and Zoë begin fighting, with Anime Sasha landing the first two blows) <**thuck**> <**thuck**> -- Game Voice: **BLOCK!** -- <**BAP**> <**BAP**> <**WAP**> -- (Anime Zoë lands a winning blow with her foot) <***KEEK***> -- (With Anime Sasha on the ground, Anime Zoë lands on her back to finish the fight) Game Voice: **DOUBLE DAMAGE!** <***KA-RUNCH***> -- Anime Dream Zoë: Now I fight for wisdom! Game Voice: **Battle Over!** -- Anime Dream Oasis: Your words scratch the back of my eyes! Anime Dream Zoë (fear in her eyes): *YOU!?!* -- Anime Dream Oasis: My feet hurt... -- Anime Dream Oasis: ***...WITH DESTINY!*** <****STOMP****> -- (Anime Oasis and Anime Zoë begin fighting) Game Voice: **START!** -- Riff: *That's awesome!* Zoë: That's offensive! And what kind of plot was that? And the dialogue! Riff: *Right!* Never played a fighting game before, huh? Zoë: I'll quit talking about dreams if you do the same on video games! Deal? === Note: {} denotes K'Z'K "font" | Flag | ||||
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Carver: *How can you be up and about on your own?* -- Carver: Obsidian Teknokon, I command you to power down! -- Carver (upset): *Why aren't you obeying my mental commands?* -- Bun-Bun (thinking): What's his problem? Obsidian Teknokon: His problem appears to be that I am not following his mental commands. I obey thoughts of clearest strength and closest proximity. Bun-Bun (thinking): What are you?!? -- Carver: Why the silend [sic: should be "silent"] treatment? ohhh I /understand/ now! I thought you were a robot sent to obey my whims but you are /alive,/ and did it out of /kindness./ -- Obsidian Teknokon: ..cite-ken4000 Bio-Teknokon interface device and systems operational... Bun-Bun (thinking): Bla-bla-bla, you basically obey my thoughts, right? Obsidian Teknokon: Yes. Bun-Bun (thinking): Pipe down and let me handle this. -- Carver: *How could I have been so terrible?* Can you ever forgive me... my... friend? -- Bun-Bun (as the Obsidian Teknokon): Uh... Too late for that, Nerd-Goat. You're in *so* much trouble! -- Carver: *No! I /*beg*/ of you seek not vengeance on my people!* Bun-Bun/Obsidian Teknokon: *I shall seek vengeance on you all if you don't put any valuables,* including pies, *in this sack and point me towards the nearest ship.* </End flashback> -- Uncle Time: Heh, stupid Carver! Then you got a ship, a crew, "found yourself" and the rest is history. Bun-Bun: Can I go home now? Uncle Time: One last question. Why didn't you tell yourself who you were the whole time? -- Bun-Bun: If some guy came up to me claiming to be my future self I'd sense a setup and toss him overboard, figuring if he /was/ me I would have expected that. Uncle Time: And this way turned out so much better, huh? -- Uncle Time: Few people get to truly spend so much time with themselves. What a unique chance grow as a person. Bun-Bun: I don't know what you're talking about. -- Uncle Time: I KNOW, AND IT'S WHY YOU'RE MY FAVORITE BUNNY EVER! Bun-Bun: This is your last chance to send me home peaceful-like, chuckles. <KA-CLICK!> Uncle Time: OK-OK... -- (Bun-Bun looks around) -- Uncle Time: What are you looking for, Bun-Bun? Having second thoughts about anything? (Bun-Bun is erect and sniffing the air) -- Bun-Bun: No, just making sure a third me wasn't showing up. I want out of here for good. Uncle Time: Good point! If there were three of [sic: should be "of you"] you'd be a serial offender. Lit up crowbar label: Ouch! -- <**KRAK**> (Uncle Time bats Bun-Bun out of timeless space) -- Cereal Box: Breakfast of emo kids | DEFEATIES | Toy surprise inside | Who cares <**SNAPAL**> (Someone is pouring cereal out of the box) -- (Bun-Bun falls out of the cereal box into a bowl of cereal and milk) <**PLOP**> Label on the cereal bowl: I Hate Mornings -- Bun-Bun: I hate Uncle Time. *And who puts milk in the bowl first?!?* Gwynn (grimacing): Last time I buy cereal /*just*/ because I have a coupon. (The coffee cup next to the bowl has the Pun Demon on it) === Side note: *END: A STEP TO THE SIDE* | Flag | ||||
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=== Pete: It's a big question. -- Pete: How do you follow up conquering the /world?/ | I mean, you had /everything.../ and /lost it all./ Pete: You've always had something to look /forward/ to, some way to prove you were tougher than /ever./ | But now... now /what?/ -- Georg (thinking): As my tears ran dry, I began to see. -- Pete: I don't have the answer... but I have an answer. | Let me live, and I promise you'll find a new, exciting purpose in life. Bun-Bun: ...Deal. -- <**CLK**> -- <**CHK**> (Bun-Bun puts his switchblade away) -- (Pete stands in silence) -- (Bun-Bun glares at him) -- (Bun-Bun really glares at him) -- Bun-Bun (his switchblade out anew): Of course, "letting you live" still gives me flexibility... -- Pete: Um... | I'm drawing this strip... Try anything and I'll turn you into a banner ad. Bun-Bun: You think I don't know substitute credits when I see them? -- Bun-Bun (lunging forward with his switchblade): I'm looking *forward* to this. <****SHK****> -- Georg (thinking): He was telling me, as clearly as he could. Georg (thinking): He wasn't a sage, he didn't talk that language. Georg (thinking): He was a cartoonist... -- Zoë: I'm sorry, Riff. | I was just... scared. Frustrated... We /lost/ him... Zoë: I had to bite /someone's/ head off. Kiki (leaping away): *EEEK! I LIKE MY HEAD!* -- (Riff grabs the Torg-lifesign detector away from Zoë and tosses it across the room) <**SHK**> -- (The Torg-lifesign detector breaks as it hits the floor) <***KRAK***> -- (Riff clenches his fist) -- (Riff turns away from Zoë in hurt frustration; Zoë removes her goggles) -- (Zoë reaches for Riff) -- (Zoë hugs Riff; Gwynn stands awkwardly a few feet away) -- Georg (still floating; thinking): He spoke in the language of moments. Georg (thinking): Of shared pains and light amusements. Georg (thinking): Straightforward language has no Grand Answer for dealing with loss... -- Georg (floating above the words "Is It Not Nifty?"; thinking): But life does. Georg (thinking): Life with all its little charming incidents, its quirks, its delights. Georg (thinking): Its... -- (A bird's-eye view of Georg floating over "IS IT NOT NIFTY?") -- Georg (thinking): The pain is still there. Georg: But for the first time, I feel stronger. Georg: I look back at the images of our time together like the panels in an archive. (A montage of pictures/images of Georg's life with Mary Sue) -- Georg (waking up with his head on the keyboard; thinking): The keys on the board feel like a kiss on the cheek. -- Georg (waking up; thinking): It's morning. -- (Georg goes into the bathroom) <**SLAM**> -- (Georg takes a shower) Footnote: END === Note: /The Sluggite Koan,/ Written by _T Campbell_ <http://www.tcampbell.net/>, illustrated by _H.S. Kim_ <http://krazykimchi.com/>. | Flag | ||||
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-- Torg: I stand corrected! -- (Teresa is happily swimming naked) -- Torg (recalling his initial encounter with a naked Oasis; thinking): The Oasis-vibe I'm getting from Teresa is downright creepy! -- Zoë: Torg! Torg: *Hey Zoë!* -- (Over the next three panels, Zoë talks to Torg; Torg stares in the direction of Teresa; Zoë's attention eventually shifts from Torg to the direction in which he's staring...) Zoë: I wanted to talk to you about Gwynn. She's carrying the Book of E-ville around all the time. And she's acting weird. She's told everyone about the 'Deal with the Book' she made, where Farahn's offering her more power. And I know she's keeping that plant around, dangerous as it is, because it's a safe zone for her incase [sic: should be "in case"] the Book is trying to ... magically influence her... What are you looking at? === NOTE: Ref: _Oasis Flashback_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/990923>. DEFENDERS: look for a BLOG POST tomorrow! | Flag | ||||
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Riff: Yep. Isabella (holding a wrapped box): I got you a going-away present. -- Kiki (attempting to hug Bun-bun): **BUN-BUN!!! RIFF AND I'LL MISS YOU /SOOO MUCH!/** <***WOOOSHHH*GLOM!****> <*Poing!*> -- Gwynn (with Bun-Bun now on her shoulder): Kiki, stop hugging my leg. Bun-bun, thanks for not stabbing Kiki for trying to hug you. Bun-Bun: Theres [sic: should be "There's"] enough weepiness going on in this room, no need to add a skewered tube-rat to the 'feels' pile. Bun-Bun: Well-well! Look over there, witchy-poo! Torg and Zoë made the party after all! | Flag | ||||
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=== </Begin Kiki's fantasy> Torg, Zoë, Riff, and Bun-bun (tied up together): /**HELP US, KIKI!**/ Captain Botanical (lifting up leaves with fists at the end to use magic): You gots /'the feels'/ for your friends, Commander Kiki! That is why /*you will lose!*/ Kiki (wearing a helmet and wielding a sword): You are /wrong/, Captain Botanical! Kiki: I used to go for 'the feels', but now I go for *'the knows'*, and I 'know' your time is up! -- Captain Botanical: You *can't* go for my nose. /I don't have one./ Kiki: But I /can/ go for your arm,... (Kiki cuts off a leaf-arm) Kiki: ... and now you don't have it either. Nor can you spell "know", /nave!/ -- Captain Botanical (magic coming from the remaining leaf-arm): K-N-A-V-E! And I'm /magic! Of course/ I can *spell!* (Kiki lifts her sword...) -- Kiki (cutting off other leaf-arm): Not /now!/ *You're /completely/ disarmed!* </End Kiki's fantasy> -- Aylee: /Kiki?!?/ *What* are you doing in Gwynn's bathroom? -- Kiki (on top of the tank part of the toilet, still with the helmet and sword, next to a wilting, tiny Captain Botanical, whose cut leaves are falling to the toilet seat): Crap. Written on flower pot: CAPPY BO === NOTE: Ref: _Cappy Bo' starts (chapterwise) HERE-ish_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/140915> | _Cappy Bo' last seen_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/150928>. | Flag | ||||
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<shattered memory fragment> (A gun goes off) Oasis: *It's nothing like that, Katie! It's true love! Love that hurts so much. -- Oasis: *Everything around me dies! I won't risk him dying because of me! I have to stay away from him and it's /RIPPING ME UP INSIDE!/* -- <Shattered memory fragments> (Torg attempts to give Oasis flowers after finding her bathing or skinnydipping in a river) (Oasis gets angry) (Oasis chokes Steve Hereti) (Torg dodging bullets) (Oasis screams after getting blown up by Riff's robot - her anguish sets Zoë on fire) (Torg at the window of the insane asylum) (Oasis falling from a cliff after getting skewered by Gwynn's magic rage at Torg and Oasis' "wedding) -- Oasis: ****GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!**** -- (In the middle of all of this Kareen sits by the pool with headphones on - listening to "<musical note> ...head like a hole... <musical note> <musical note> - and reading a magazine, oblivious to what is going on inside the house) Magazine Cover: PARENTZ | Mom of the Year Edition -- Katie: I'm sorry! *I'm sorry! /Please stop!/* -- Katie: Are you... OK? Oasis: I... think I... -- Oasis: /I killed him!/ Katie: *Torg?!?* -- Oasis (crying): /I killed Dr. Steve!/ The man who made me into a killer. I /crushed his throat! My own father!/ Oasis: I don't know what I am but I'm not a robot. If I was, this wouldn't /hurt/ so much. === NOTE: Ref: _Torg with Flowers_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/19990923> | _Oasis Falls_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20000528> | _Torg at the Window_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/020218> | _Oasis Screams_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/090804> | _The End of Dr. Steve_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/19991017> (remastered). | Flag | ||||
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Engineer: They weren't human! They were some kind of monsters but with animas! I saw them oozing off into the woods. -- </Flashback> The gang (covered in marshmallow fluff; running away): ***RUN AWAY!*** Engineer: What in tarnation?!? </End flashback> -- Zoe: I can't believe we survived that! Daebo: Daebo not understand. Do trains /*not*/ stop when things on track where you are from? Gwynn: Whats [sic: should be "What's"] with this 'marshamllow-fluff' [sic: should be "'marshmallow-fluff'"] dissolving? Riff: It's my quick dissipating insta-marshmallows! It quickly breaks down into inert gas. -- Torg: Even the marshmallow in our stomachs? .... (*)urp(*) ... (*)*BURP*(*) ... Riff: You guys didn't eat any of it, did you? -- The Gang: **BURP** *****BURPITTY***** (*)**URP**(*) **BURP** ****BURP**** ****BURP**** **URP** ****BELCH!**** -- Man from train: What /ungodly roars!/ The monsters are still nearby and *they sound angry!* Engineer: Instead of waiting for the tow car, let's let the train nudge the half-car aside. I'll tell the other engineers we're taking it slow, but /*we are leaving!*/ -- (Daebo, annoyed, pulls Kiki off of him) <***SLORP!***> -- Daebo (handing over a limp Kiki to Torg): Daebo wonders whats [sic: should be "what's"] wrong with sticky Kiki! Torg: When she eats too much sugar, like with marshmallows, it 'over-hypers' her. At least she didn't break the sound barrier this time Daebo: Daebo saw her shake, go blurry, and almost vanish! -- Riff: I surmise the sugar from the marshmallow-fluff Kiki ate sent her into a vibrating phase-state where her molecules fused with the marshmallocules, altering her DNA and making her perpetually sticky forever. Kiki: That makes me sad. -- Riff: Or she just needs a bath. Kiki: That makes me sadder. Riff (sticking Kiki onto Torg's jacket): Torg? Watch her for me? -- Daebo: Daebo sad too. This is goodbye. | Flag | ||||
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Riff: I'll page you. -- Riff: Well, we can visit Gwynn in about an hour. Do you think Zoë is still bummed? Torg: I think it was *nice* of you to let Zoë stop off in the past just long enough to take her finals. Riff: Yeah, she did really badly, but at least she didn't flunk out! -- Caption: A few months ago... Dex: How'd you do on the history exam? Zoë: I would have done better if it wasn't for the essay question about *"The War of the Bug Squishers".* I never even heard of it! It wasn't in my notes! -- Torg: I thought I loved her, I mean *really* loved her. Maybe Val just became built up in my mind. When I saw her again... before... she acted differently toward me. I guess things just weren't the same between us, and now I don't know how I feel. -- Riff: Maybe you just thought you loved her because you thought she loved you. Torg: Yeah. Look, it might have caused all kinds of paradoxes and messed with our present to try and save her, but still, was it the *right* thing to do? -- Riff: Right? I dunno. Effective? It depends how time works. Does time like to be changed? Does it fight to "right" itself? Does it let the little stuff slide? When you change time, does it create a tangent timeline? Or is time absolute, and you were always destined to travel to the past, yet not save her? -- Torg: *Hey,* we have a Time Machine now! Let's find out! Riff (holding up a bandaged thumb): I would but I accidentally popped it with a stale jagged Dorito. Stuck my thumb too. Ouch. -- Torg: *Darn it!* Damn inflatable technology. But the food sounds *good!* I think I got some jagged crab legs in the fridge. Riff: Just don't nuke 'em in the inflatable microwave. -- Title Panel: This has been a Sluggy Freelance presentation | The Storm Breaker Saga | The End -- Caption: Epilogue: Lady Valerie: *But you are far too sick to go into battle!* Lord Torgamous: The Trents are demoralized. We were both weakened greatly by the war, but their King is dead and the evil has left. -- Torgamous: *Now* is the time to take the valley. -- Torgamous: Of course I'd be better outfitted if you hadn't given that traitorous Pheasant my best armor, sword, and horse! -- Valerie: I'm sorry, but I had a dream last night, a *horrible* dream! Torgamous: You know I love you more than life, but your dreams cannot outweigh the fate of Mercia. -- Valerie: My lord, I fear for your life in this battle! Torgamous: Fear not, Valerie! I shall return. -- <**GLITCH!**> Soldier: Lord Tourgamous [sic: should be "Torgamous"] just accidentally impaled himself on his own spear! *He's dead!* (Lysinda looks on from a dark balcony beside a banner, red with crossed yellow spears.) -- Lysinda: You will now have a choice to make, Lady Valerie. | Flag | ||||
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=== NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ <http://www.chainbear.com/> Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. | Flag | ||||
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(Helicopter approaching...) -- Torg: Guys? We've got incoming. A Hereti-Corp scout-team most likely intercepted the address Riff sent out over this inn's low-security connection. Riff, you said that address was a nearby location. /How/ nearby? -- Riff: It was like... over... /um/... It's the front door of this inn. Torg (opening "Torg's Duffle"): /*Dude!*/ -- Riff: But not, like, this specific suite. Torg (pulling Chaz out of his duffle bag): *Everyone! Battle-positions!* -- (Torg holds Chaz up in a ready-to-strike position; Kiki leaps up with a ninja mask and sai swords; Riff inflates a laser cannon; Zoë holds up ZHOAS (aka Zombie Head on a Stick; aka Jane) in a ready-to-bat position; Aylee spreads her wings, while Sam and Queen Siphaniana/Gwynn look on in shock) Kiki: *Ya!* Bun-Bun: hubba hubba -- Torg (covering his eyes while Aylee rewraps her wings): Aylee? Put something on under your wings. You made the vampire faint. Aylee: Oh right! Torg: And who bought Kiki plastic Sai swords? Kiki: I am ze Sai Ninja! -- Riff: This is my fault. I haven't communicated with my dad for so long, I got sloppy. You guys run, I'll hold them off. -- Torg: No, Riff, we all go for 'roof access' now. Bun-Bun (poinging onto Torg's shoulder): Doesn't that put us right in front of the incoming helicopter, Nerd-Boy? <**Poing!**> -- Torg: Sam flies, Aylee flies, we have hoverbikes, and that chopper won't survive two blasts from Riff's laser-cannon. And you're the almighty Bun-Bun. /We charge *them?*/ They won't stand a chance. Bun-Bun: And now I really want pop-corn. Kiki: Le Sai, le weep. Torg: *MOVE OUT!* | Flag | ||||
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Agent McKay: Forgiveness over permission. Dr. Montgomery: Forgiveness only works if the Mater-2 returns with Shankraft alive and Riff dead. Agent McKay (holding up his tablet): That's why I hand-picked the team. The toughest agents on the station. -- Agent McKay's tablet: HERETI-CORP "MATER-2" TOW-SHIP CREW-LIST <hC logo> AUTHORIZATION: M.McKAY - AGENT M. SAIRZ * <hC logo> PILOT - AGENT I. LEGGORE ** <hC logo> PIK-RIFLE MARKSMAN - AGENT P. PATCHPEG ** <hC logo> SHIP-TO-SHIP COMBAT - AGENT H. WEBEI <hC logo> ZERO-G DEMOLITIONS - AGENT S. PROWMAN *** <hC logo> COMMANDER --- Dr. Montgomery (looking at McKay's tablet): Interesting load-out. Remember Oasis is on the Musky-5 too. Having no crew trained in zero-G hand-to-hand combat forces them to keep their distance. -- Agent McKay: *Oasis* forces them to keep their distance. But I have a feeling you may be able to help us keep Oasis out of the way. That is Oasis' brain, after all. Dr. Montgomery (putting her safety glasses back on and handing McKay his tablet): Hmm.. -- Dr. Montgomery: Tell them to give me a signal and I'll disrupt Oasis from here. Five minutes tops. -- Agent McKay: An hour would be better. Dr. Montgomery: An hour at this stage would risk permanent damage to the parts of her we need to 'win the war'. *Five minutes.* -- Agent McKay: Five minutes. I'll let them know to send you a signal. Dr. Montgomery: How are you going to keep the boss from noticing the Mater-2 launching? Agent McKay: He's rather fixated on our captive Gwynn. He's planning a grand dinner for her. -- Dr. Montgomery: Let's not be the main course. Agent McKay: An hour there, and hour back, Shankraft will be on the team and we can tell him over dessert. Dr. Montgomery: What's for dessert? Agent McKay: Hopefully not our asses. Dr. Montgomery: Let's not be that course either. | Flag |
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