| View |
Torg: Good night, ladies! Get a lot of sleep, we're leaving early tomorrow. We got a lot of lost ground to cover. Zoë: Why do we have to keep the animals? -- Torg: Zoë, you're the one who got us into this mess. Consider it punishment. Bun-Bun (on Zoë's shoulder): Looks like we're bunking together tonight Zoë! Hubba hubba! -- Zoë: *This is cruel and unusual punishment!* Bun-Bun (wiggling his nose at Zoë): Yup, I'm *both!* | Flag | ||||
| View |
Riff: Let's change the subject. -- Zoë: OK, let's order a pizza. What do you want on it? Riff (slamming his fist on the table): *Torg's head!* <**SLAM!**> Zoë: Maybe I'll make that a half pepperoni, half... -- Zoë: ... Holy crap! "Torg's head" is on the menu! Riff: Let me see that! -- Bun-Bun (wiggling his nose): I just penciled that in when I was bored the other day. I put you under "Hot Entrees"! *Hubba hubba!* Riff: And why the hell am I listed under "Turkey Specials"? | Flag | ||||
| View |
-- Zoë (posing in her french maid costume): Ha! This will give those guys something to be sexist and neanderthal about! -- Torg (in the same costume): *_Great!_ Now I have to go change.* Riff (in vampire costume): Good job Zoë, we are late as it is! Bun-Bun: hubba hubba! | Flag | ||||
| View |
(Zoë in her skiing outfit opens the card) -- (The inside reads: "Happy Valentine's Day...........Massacre!" The front shows a heart in front of a brick wall; the interior shows more of the brick wall, marred with bullet holes and blood spots; Bun-Bun stands at the end, and has signed the card.) Bun-Bun (inside card, wearing a fedora and carrying a tommy gun): Hubba hubba! -- Kiki: You're _lucky!_ I didn't get _any_ Valentine's Day cards! Zoë: I think I'm in love. | Flag | ||||
| View |
Bun-Bun: I've never meant "hubba hubba" as much as I do when I use it on you, babe! This is *love!* <heart> <heart> <heart> <heart> <heart> <heart> -- (Bun-Bun's is rummaging half-way into her purse) Gwynn: ****_HEY!_**** <**RUMMAGE, RUMMAGE, RUMMAGE...**> -- (Gwynn leaning back as Bun-Bun, holding a wad of cash, kisses her) Bun-Bun: But there are some things more important than love, like rolling you for dough to play the ponies. See you at the track, toots! <heart> <SMOOOCH!> <heart> <$> <$> <$> <$> -- Gwynn (wiping her mouth): Bleck! -- Kiki: You're so lucky! | Flag | ||||
| View |
-- Bird: <***AWK!***> <***THOCK!***> <***AWWWWWWWWWKKKKK**> <***THUD.***> -- (Torg and Oasis in her wedding dress standing in front of the minister, who is tied to a tree) Torg (half donkey): Oasis, you're not supposed to throw the bouquet until after the wedding. -- Riff (in a tuxedo tied to a second tree): Still, I'm impressed with the precision required to take that bird out of the sky with it. Torg: She only does a few things. But she does them well. Minister: Can we get *on* with this? *Please!?!* -- Minister: We are gathered here today to join Torg and Oasis in holy matrimony; which is an honorable estate, not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently. Plus, the bride has knives and isn't afraid to use them, so let's all be careful with this next part. -- Minister: If anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. -- Riff: Because she didn't provide you with the credentials the state requires for marriage. -- Minister: Besides that. -- Riff: Because she's a robot. -- Oasis: *I AM _NOT!_* Minister: Besides that. -- Kiki: Oooh! *Ooooh!* Because he's a *half-donkey monster!* -- Minister: *BESIDES THAT!* -- Oasis (ripping most of her skirt off): ***YAAAAAH!*** <***RIP!***> <***SHRED***> -- (Oasis has shoved pieces of her skirt into Riff and Kiki's mouths) Riff: *mphmff mphmff*(*) Kiki: *mffmphm!*(**) Footnote: (*) Hubba hubba! Footnote: (**) Your dress tastes bad. -- Minister: Ahem... If anyone can show just cause why they may not... Torg: Sigh. Who cares. But how about "I don't love you". -- Oasis (livid; (holding up a note that says, "Zoë, I love you! --Torg"): *I know!* I found *this* in your wallet! Torg: *uh-oh.* -- Oasis (crying): *But it doesn't matter because I love you! sniff I love you enough to make our... sniff... our marriage... sob... work...* -- Minister: Maybe we should take a few minutes for you to compose yourself... Oasis (angrily): *Finish the ceremony!* -- Minister: Let us skip the whole "just cause" part and move on to the uplifting vows. Gwynn (from a distance): torg? --- Gwynn: Torg? - Gwynn: Torg? Are you around here? - Gwynn: To-org? --- Oasis: /**ZOË!**/ -- Kenny/K'Z'K (narrating): Since Oasis didn't know what Zoë looked like (she had never been formally introduced when they met), she concluded this woman emerging from the forest must be Zoë. And *nothing* would stop her death. Gwynn: **TOOOOORG!** -- Skip/Skippy (narrating): *Gwynn?* How did *she* get there, Kenny? And why didn't Torg just tell Oasis that it's not Zoë? Kenny/K'Z'K (narrating): One question at a time, Skip! I'm telling this story. Torg knew the only way to save Gwynn's life was to tell Oasis that it wasn't Zoë, or at least warn Gwynn of the danger. And when he tried to warn and inform, poof, instant donkey! Torg (transforming into full donkey): ***HEE HAW*** -- Kenny/K'Z'K (narrating): Gwynn cast the donkey-spell on Torg to keep him silent, for her benefit. And in the end, it lead to her detriment. That is irony. Next question? Skip/Skippy (narrating): OK, Kenny! I'll buy the tuxes, but where did Oasis get a ferret-size maid-of-honor dress on short notice? Kenny/K'Z'K (narrating): Shut up, Skip. | Flag | ||||
| View |
(Helicopter approaching...) -- Torg: Guys? We've got incoming. A Hereti-Corp scout-team most likely intercepted the address Riff sent out over this inn's low-security connection. Riff, you said that address was a nearby location. /How/ nearby? -- Riff: It was like... over... /um/... It's the front door of this inn. Torg (opening "Torg's Duffle"): /*Dude!*/ -- Riff: But not, like, this specific suite. Torg (pulling Chaz out of his duffle bag): *Everyone! Battle-positions!* -- (Torg holds Chaz up in a ready-to-strike position; Kiki leaps up with a ninja mask and sai swords; Riff inflates a laser cannon; Zoë holds up ZHOAS (aka Zombie Head on a Stick; aka Jane) in a ready-to-bat position; Aylee spreads her wings, while Sam and Queen Siphaniana/Gwynn look on in shock) Kiki: *Ya!* Bun-Bun: hubba hubba -- Torg (covering his eyes while Aylee rewraps her wings): Aylee? Put something on under your wings. You made the vampire faint. Aylee: Oh right! Torg: And who bought Kiki plastic Sai swords? Kiki: I am ze Sai Ninja! -- Riff: This is my fault. I haven't communicated with my dad for so long, I got sloppy. You guys run, I'll hold them off. -- Torg: No, Riff, we all go for 'roof access' now. Bun-Bun (poinging onto Torg's shoulder): Doesn't that put us right in front of the incoming helicopter, Nerd-Boy? <**Poing!**> -- Torg: Sam flies, Aylee flies, we have hoverbikes, and that chopper won't survive two blasts from Riff's laser-cannon. And you're the almighty Bun-Bun. /We charge *them?*/ They won't stand a chance. Bun-Bun: And now I really want pop-corn. Kiki: Le Sai, le weep. Torg: *MOVE OUT!* | Flag | ||||
| View |
Stick-Figure-Torg: Mmm! Strawberry spacecake! It /is/ my birthday after all! Stick-Figure-Riff: And what did you wish for on your birthday? Stick-Figure-Torg: Peace! -- Piece Keeper #1: Lucky you, janitor! For that is our job on this ship! /*We're piece keepers!*/ Stick-Figure-Riff: Peace Keepers? -- (Piece Keeper #1 swipes Stick-Figure-Torg's piece of cake) <**SWIPE**> Stick-Figure-Torg: /*Hey, that's MY piece of cake!*/ -- Piece Keeper #1: And we're totaly [sic: should be "totally"] keeping it! 1-of-3: Time check. It has been 7 minutes and we still live! Um... Hi. Piece Keeper #2: Hubba hubba! I am /*so*/ getting a piece of that! <heart> -- 1-of-3 (running away): Run away! Piece Keeper #2: Don't you run from a *keeper of the piece!* <heart> <heart> <heart> Stick-Figure-Torg: What we've got here is failure to communicate. Stick-Figure-Riff: Ask him about irony! | Flag | ||||
| View |
Riff: *You* didn't love him. That was a dream Gwynn. You are not Queen Siphaniana. -- Gwynn: What if I am? Reincarnation? Or part of her family line with a... stronger connection? Gwynn: You had the Book of E-ville for years. It never granted you powers. I get a hold of the book and /bam!/ ...instant magic. Gwynn: Not from the book. Not even from The Bug, but from Farahn. Like he recognized Siphaniana in me! Gwynn: And The Bug used the same connection when I put on that stupid necklace that caused all this! -- Riff: It was a dream, Gwynn. I dreamed I could fly last night but you don't see me jumping off the roof -- Riff: Wait. Bad example. I totally jumped off the roof when I thought the monster dune-buggy was going to explode. You know I should really get that off of the roof. -- Riff: /*Wait!*/ I was afraid of it blowing up but I only now realize that blowing it up would be a perfect way to get it off the roof! It's like I'm coming out of a fog! -- Gwynn: I don't know what makes a good person turn, Riff, but I don't think I'll be so quick to judge in the future. I only hope you can forgive your father and I can forgive myself. Riff: /Holy cow!/ How long have you been walking around in your undies? Bun-Bun: /Hubba hubba!/ === NOTE: Ref: _The Book Grants Gwynn Power_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/19990117> | _The Bug Abuses the Connection_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20140320>. | Flag | ||||
| View |
-- Bun-bun (poinging towards the door): Maybe it's for the best. <*Poing!*> -- Isabella Abato (Izzy): Oh! Hello! Bun-bun (midway through the doorway): Hubba hubba! The Nerd-Butt will see you now! <*Poing!*> -- Izzy (astonished, pointing): That was /Bun-Bun!/ -- Izzy: From the files and talking to Anthony I knew he was adorable and lethal. But in person he's /so much more of both!/ -- Izzy: /I can't tell what I want more! *To cuddle him or to live!*/ Torg: He gets that a lot. Isabella Abato. It's late, what can I do for you? -- Izzy: Right. Torg, I wouldn't insert myself in the middle of this if it wasn't already said-and-done. I just wanted you to understand what happened with Sam. From /Riff's/ point of view. Izzy: I'm going to tell you about monsters. | Flag | ||||
| View |
-- Zoë (thinking): I'm also getting sick of being afraid. I can't see ghosts but I feel them watching me. Like death all around me. -- (Walking into the bedroom, wrapped in a towel, Zoë sees that "Nothing Dead Here" is written on the wall -- apparently in blood.) -- Zoë: Well, gee, thanks for the hemorrhaging post-it note! *I feel much better!* -- Torg: *ZOË!* Zoë: *Torg!?! Could you knock?* -- Torg: Bert floated right through the wall and I wanted to warn you! Zoë: *Bert's here? Bert's dead, Torg!* Torg: Yeah but he's right over there standing next to Beth! -- Torg (spotting the writing on the wall): "Nothing Dead here?" Looks like someone's in denial! Riff: What's going on in here? Zoë: *Could I put some clothes on, please?* Kiki: That'd be neat! I always wondered how you all did that! Bun-Bun: /Hubba-Hubba!/ | Flag | ||||
| View |
-- Torg: You look a little sun-charred, my vampire friend! Sam: I pace around when I can't sleep. /*Yowza!*/ -- Sasha (looking absolutely radiant; wearing a very sexy evening gown, with three florets across her right breast, and a (chastity) choker with a padlock on it): Ready to go, Sam? Bun-Bun: HUBBA-HUBBA! -- Sam (whispering aside to Torg): OK, I'm thinking Sasha and I skip the movie, and go right for the 'making out' over there on the couch. Torg (whispering): Patience, Grasshopper. -- Sam (whispering aside to Torg): But she looks good right now! What if she starts getting rough around the edges as the night goes on? Torg (starting to get annoyed/concerned; whispering): Trust me. Just get through the movie with-out her staking you. -- (Sam flies off, cradling Sasha in his arms; Sasha has put on her UPS jacket over the evening gown and looks very happy) Torg: And they're off. Bun-Bun: Sure you don't want to bet money on this? -- Torg: Why waste my time. I'll just hand you money if the date goes well. Bun-Bun: That's about the odds I was offering anyway. | Flag | ||||
| View |
Label above the doorway: Björkea Functional Showroom -- Teresa (winking): And by 'bought' I mean /'stole!'/ -- Teresa: *Hey everybody!* I'm your friendly neighborhood courier, *Teresa!* -- Zoë (annoyed; whispering aside to Riff): Yeah, not digging the pigtails. -- Teresa: This is the team, hon? Torg: The *majority* of the team is over there! -- Sam (working a game controller): Whoooah! Hot-chick. Bun-Bun (from Sam's shoulder): *hubba-hubba.* ZHOAS (aka Jane; in a hC hat and a game controller in her mouth): **hummu hummu. ...** Kiki (holding onto a "Chalk Eraser" in lieu of a game controller): *hobo hobo.* -- (Teresa looks worriedly bemused) -- (Teresa puts her goggles down and yells at her bare arm) Teresa: *Abort! Abort! *Extreeeme* weirdness!!! All operations!* Torg: /**NOOOOO!**/ === NOTE: Ref: Teresa (_1_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/120411>) (_2_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/120412>) | Flag | ||||
| View |
-- Zoë: How's Sam? Torg (shutting the basement door behind him): Less "toasted marshmallow" and more "blistered Shishito pepper. [sic: should be pepper."] He'll be up and out of the basement guest-coffin soon. -- Torg: Gwynn wants us to meet at the Antiquarium tonight. Zoë (perturbed): Another monster hunt? You just got back yesterday! -- Torg: Not sure. But I wouldn't mind! It's so satisfying to take the fight to the monsters! Zoë: Well, I'm finding the "low-profile" home life satisfying at the moment. -- Torg: This is directly helping innocent people from terrible fates. Man, I wish Riff could be part of it. (Torg has a "I gave <drop>" (i.e., blood) sticker on his shirt) Zoë: He would lead the charge. Just promise me one of these days we're going to stop fighting and start living. -- Torg (taking Zoë into his arms): Why can't we do *both?* Zoë: Um, Torg? -- Zoë (gesturing towards the table): /Not/ in front of the /kids./ Bun-Bun (wiggling his nose): /Hubba-hubba!/ Kiki: Are they gonna smooch? Aylee: I'm not a kid. Bun-Bun: You're younger than Tube-Rat, Turtle-Soup! === NOTE: Ref: _Aylee's birth-date_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=2#1997-10-14>. Unimportant facts and ref's: Bun-bun calls Kiki "tube-rat" (bet you knew that) and now calls Aylee "_turtle-soup_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=73#2020-09-23>"! And the game Bun-bun, Kiki, and Aylee are playing is Pirates and Pantaloons, featured in the bROKEN Sluggy Freelance Book 9 bonus story "Revelation of the Skyllakraken" which can bee [sic: should be "be"] found in Book 9 page 38! | Flag |