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<*TAK*> <*TAK*> <*INV*> -- Sam (shaking Torg's hand): *Torg! /Holy crap,/* whaddap? Bun-Bun: Hey Snaggletooth! Sam: /Bun-Bun!/ My *main* Bun... -- Sam: ...Bun...? | My main one-bun? I'll work on it. -- Street sign: <obscured>TON ST. Sign in window (behind Sam): THE VERY | UNIQUE | COFFEE HAUS Sam: How did you know where I was? -- </Flashback> Caption: PREVIOUSLY... Torg's myPhone screen: TORG, YOUR FRIEND | SAM HAS POSTED YET | ANOTHER SELFIE! || UNIQUE COFFEE HAUS | ON HAMILTON ST. 16.7 | MILES FROM YOU [myface] </End flashback> -- Sam: Who cares? I dig the trendy necklaces. But keep them away from me! Garlic makes me weak as a kitten! Bun-Bun: You don't say. -- Sam (transforming to vampire face): *Wait a minute!* I'm /*remembering*/ something! -- </Sam's hazy memory> (The burned remains of Sam angrily approach Riff and Izzy (only Riff is not entirely hazy) -- Sam's head: *Torg? Why?* Torg (holding Chaz in one hand and a stake in the other - about to stake Sam): I'm so sorry Sam. -- (A hazy vision of the Strakoistrat, a representation of the ruling party of Strakoi elders) -- (Sam remembers himself making shadow puppets; a hazy memory of sitting on a throne next to a female vampire on an adjoining throne and another female vampire kneeling in front of him in reverence) -- (Sam remembers someone putting a crown on him) Caption: The Coronation of King Sam the First </End Sam's hazy memories> -- Sam: Now I remember! I'm the /*King of the Vampires!*/ Torg: /Whew!/ Of course you are, Sam! -- Vampiress: *Step away from our King immediately or become our food! -- Torg: *No way!* Vampiress (pointing at Torg from off panel): /So be it!/ Torg (trying to back away): I meant /'No way'/ about the /'King thing'/ ... /*Crap!*/ === NOTE: Sam Flashback Panels Ref: (_1_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-03-22>) (_2_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-03-29>) (_3_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-04-21>) (_4_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-05-02>) (_5_ <https://archives.sluggy.com/book.php?chapter=68#2016-05-05>) More 'Sam' references in a comic or two. | Flag | ||||
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--- Anne Nihilated: Now back to you, waht are you doing here!?! /This is my *super secret* supply./ Professor Saine: A little sugar for my tea, a little baking soda for my napalm. -- Prof. Saine: I didn't know it was a secret. /Did you guys?/ -- Anne: Yeah, why are you here, snake kid? -- Snake Kid: I would have stayed to fight, but my snakes were getting scared. You know what scaredy-kittens those king cobras can be. -- Anne: Ok what about you, newbie? -- Dark Arts Student: Fools! You had accepted me into your culinary academy with open aprons. Little did you know, from my cursed cupcakes would spawn the creation of my monsters! Ready to overthrow those in the Dark Arts who betrayed me, starting with you, Ru-- Label: Note: Skull Lapel Pin indicating the Villain the whole time! -- Dark Arts Student (as Anne is pushing him out the door): -tt... -- <***CHOMP***> <***CRUNCH***> Anne (dusting off her hands): See we didn't need any surgar, that'll hold them off just as well. -- Female Student/Biscotti #37: Looks like he got his just desserts. --- Comic Footer: www.sluggy.com | Words by Leah & Pete, art by Leah. | � Leah Abrams, 2018. All rights reserved. | Flag | ||||
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Dr. Marcus Chen (off panel): Come see Dr. Steve [sic: should be "Steve's"] office next door! We have a computer! -- Torg (peeking into the doorway marked "OFFICE"): Maybe you shouldn't be messing with that. Chen (leaning over to turn the computer on): I'm not afraid. -- Torg (raising Chaz): Maybe I shouldn't be /allowing/ you to be messing with that. Chen: Run me through if you must. Thia computer is the most important thing we've found in here so far. <TAK> <TAK> <TAK> -- Torg: I think I'm about to find more. There's another door at the end of the hall and it has a word on it. (Chen smiles evilly) -- Torg (standing in front of a door marked "O.A.S.I.S."): So Oasis is an acronym, huh? -- (Torg opens the door and takes a defensive stance with Chaz raised) -- <Shuf> (Chen opens the desk drawer) -- (Chen holds up a watch) -- (Chen, smiling evilly, puts the watch on and pops it open) -- Torg (off panel): Chen? Get in here! /*Now!*/ Chen (closing the watch): On my way Torg! <*CLICK*> === NOTE: Refs: _Watch._ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20170418> _WATCH._ <http://archives.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=20160908> Hey guys! Every day it's a cliffhanger these days, /I know!/ I wanted to give you guys a heads-up that there's a new 'navigate by date' option that drops down under the archives! And more is coming! We're still working on so much stuff. | Flag | ||||
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Sign: Employee of the month --> (...pointing to a picture of "Smokey D'Ninja"; underneath Smokey's picture are four others: "Peirce Indahed", "Lance Indahed", "Mook McMook", and "Kitten Stranglir") Mr. Needles (riding the escalator up): Deadly serious. We /*are*/ the best illicit trade-hub and we're just going to get better! Kitty: You expect to run human trafficking from your basement and illegal gambling from your living room, and you think the authorities are /*not going to notice?!?*/ -- Mr. Needles (standing by the door at the top of the escalator, with his hand on the door handle): Yes! They will /*never*/ take the time to notice! Do you know /why?/ I'm rich and privileged! And we don't get "scrutinized" if we don't want to be. -- Mr. Needles (having opened the door, but still looking back at Kitty): Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for me to be seen. /Seen/ but /*not*/ scrutinized! -- Mr. Needles (seeing his two Indahed bodyguards with their lapel pins jammed into their skulls): /*Peirce? Lance?!?*/ -- Oasis (mystery woman; having removed her wig): I scrutinize you. === NOTE: Are Peirce and Lance brothers? Are they related to _Lupae Indahed?_ <http://www.sluggy.com/comics/archives/daily/20061005> is "Indahed" a common last name in Sluggyverse? I'm thinking the later [sic: should be "latter"]. *ALSO* some ref links for the person in the last panel tomorrow! | Flag | ||||
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=== NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ <http://www.chainbear.com/> Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. | Flag | ||||
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=== (A Christmas tree with presents under it, is decorated with Kiki as an angel, and ornaments of Torg, Riff, Bun-Bun, Aylee, Schlock, Oasis, Kusari, K'Z'K, Horribus, Bert, a kitten, Reakk, Stick-Figure-Shirt-Guy-Tom, Sasha, Frog, Dr. Lorna, Pun-Demon, Stan McKurt, and Mosp; three candles and holly decorate the mantle, from which hangs stockings for Zoë, Sam, and Gwynn; Zoë is sitting on a large present, Gwynn lying on the floor holding a smaller one, both dressed in skimpy, sexy Santa's-helper outfits) -- (Sam is lying in bed, dreaming the above; gargoyles decorate his bedknobs; a radio on a nightstand is playing "I want a mistress... for Christmas..." === NOTE: Today's "Winter Holiday 2008 (and some 09) Random Extravaganza!" kicks off with our old friend and MITDOP legend _Ian McDonald!_ <http://www.brunothebandit.com/> | Flag | ||||
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=== Georg (staring at his computer monitor): Is it... | "Is it not nifty?" Georg: That's all you've got to say to me? -- Mary Sue (off panel): Georg. -- Mary Sue: We need to talk. -- Mary Sue: ...just not /happy/ here. Mary Sue: I have to follow my dream, and a relationship is just one more /weight/... -- Georg: Please don't go, Mary Sue. Mary Sue: ...Please be well, Georg. -- Computer monitor: IS IT NOT NIFTY? -- Georg (standing at the edge of the chasm): **NO! IT'S NOT $#%^"NIFTY!" IT @#$% SUCKS! @#$%! @#$%!** Georg: *How can you stand there and say -- when somebody leaves you, and, and ... * -- Georg: When somebody leaves you. -- Georg: What was it I heard... You lost your best /friend/, the one /Riff/ was based on... -- </Flashback> (panel is a cut out from "Kitten" (literally 'cutting out' Angela's dialog in the panel) Max: *You flighty chicks!* Dex was my *best friend!* Does any of you know what it *means* to lose your best friend? Torg: *What*, did I miss the invitation to *Dex-Love-Fest 2000?* </End flashback> -- Georg: And yet you're still doing this... It's still so /fun/... -- (Georg's feet -- standing on the edge of the 'chasm') -- Georg: How did you get /over/ that? What do you know that I /don't?/ -- Georg (as a spec, standing next to the last 'T' in "IS IT NOT NIFTY?"): ***TELL ME!!*** === Note: /The Sluggite Koan,/ Written by _T Campbell_ <http://www.tcampbell.net/>, illustrated by _H.S. Kim_ <http://krazykimchi.com>. | Flag | ||||
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=== (panel of one of the Evil kittens holding onto a mitten in the water) (From the 12.13.02 comic) --- (panel of Torg holding one of the Evil kittens) - (panel where Torg places hacksaw against the kitten's head) (From the 11.23.02 comic) --- (fire dragon Aylee) Aylee: *HI TORG!* I'm the /real/ Aylee! You must be my big mean ugly spider-crab clone Riff told me about! (From the 07.19.02 comic) --- (Scene from the Quātrix, Riff and Kiki are sparring): Kiki: That was fun! Now you hit me! <Poing Poing> (in spirals) Riff: Kiki, I wasn't finished. What I wanted to say was, it might *seem* easy enough to hit me, but I know the secrets of the Quātrix. - Riff: So, when I tell you to "hit me", you might... <***WAP!***> - Riff: *...you might find it's not as easy as you think!* Let me *finish* what I'm saying before you hit... <***CHOMP!***> (Kiki bites Riff's nose) Riff: /**YEOUCH!**/ - Riff: /**KIKI!**/ Kiki: Play-bite, not hit. (From the 01.26.00 comic) --- Torg: Here's to a happy 1999. Zoë: Cheers! Bun-Bun: *You guys are the *_best!_* <**CLINK!**> <Poing> (They clink glasses, Bun Bun has to hop to reach) (From the 12.31.98 comic) | Flag | ||||
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Zoë: Status: Nice Summary: Heroic actions in face of satanic kittens. Puts her limited funds towards helping her friends. She was expecting a larger paycheck but didn't anticipate pay cuts, union dues, and loss of overtime. Still, as the only wage earner in the house, she puts it all towards rent and food, and is looking for another part time job. *Minor note:* It troubles her that she can't see the ghosts in the house. She also appears to be having internal issues. -- Zoë: I made more bread sandwiches. Anyone up for seconds? One of the gang: I'd like an open-faced bread sandwich, please! | Flag | ||||
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File CE-34-D-3 Override Claus, S. Accepted---Riff: Status: Neutral: Summary: Actions in support of evil organization >see Hereti-Corp balanced by heroic leadership in face of satanic kittens. Jewish, Celebrates Hanukkah. -- (Riff taking a mad-scientist pose) Riff: I shall make... *toast!* | Flag | ||||
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Summary: Heroic actions in face of satanic kittens. Maintaining correspondence with friend in hospital. > see Angela Also trying to fulfill his deceased friend's wish to have his work in a gallery. >see Bert, deceased. -- (Torg being kicked out of the "Schmartzy Gallery Soho") <*BOOT*> Torg: *It's not pornography! It's art! /His world was a crotch!/* | Flag | ||||
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-- Gwynn (wearing a T-shirt with a picture of a kitten with wings): Torg, you are the *last* one to comment on *fashion!* And maybe if I had more money I wouldn't have to shop at the bargain-shop. /*Thank-you-so-much-for-pointing-that-out!* -- Gwynn (storming off): *stupid... bug-eyed... flannel-wearing... /grrrr.../ -- (Torg sits in stunned silence while Riff and Zoë laugh) | Flag | ||||
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Kittens: mew! mew! mew! -- (The kittens bash the door of the coffee shop down) <***KISH***> -- Torg (in chef hat; holding menu): Welcome to Shez' Coffe' du Shoppe'! Today's special is crème de la crème! -- (The kittens drink milk that Riff has poured into bowls on bar, while Flaky and Zoë look on) <lap lap lap lap lap lap lap lap> -- (Flaky smiles; Zoë and Torg hug; Sid and Ed cheer) -- (Zoë and Riff hug, Sid and Riff shake hands) -- Torg: What now? Flaky: My fate is to care after these kittens until I die. That is what I shall do. Sid (putting a hand on Flaky's shoulder): Ed and I will help. Were [sic: should be "We're"] all that's left of a group determined to hold Satan's forces at bay. It seems God has placed us where we need to be. Riff: And we're going to make a break for my SUV before the twist ending happens. -- (Riff, Zoë and Torg run out of the coffee shop; Torg carrying the catatonic Angela) -- Caption: THE END -- Flaky: "Twist ending?" What is he talking about? Ed: *Wait there's only 15 kittens here!* -- Ed: Oh yeah! Three are "milked" at the cabin. (Flaky irritably looks at Ed) -- Caption: We thought that was the end, but we meant this is the end. -- Sid (raising fist with evil grin): And now the kittens are *mine!* I can complete Commander Clown's plan! *You've all been my dupes!* -- Sid: Just kidding! Ed (grabbing Sid by the collar and lifting him): *Don't do that!* -- Caption: OK, THIS IS THE END. -- (Torg peeks into the coffee shop) Flaky: Torg! What are you doing back here? Torg: There's something very important I forgot to do! -- Torg (kicking the kittens): *Dumb-* <PUNT!> *stupid-* <PUNT!> *Satanic-* <PUNT!> *kittens-* <PUNT!> -- Credits: Sluggy Freelance Presents KITTEN II Kitten 1 - Rachel Abrams Kitten 2 - Darren Bleuel Kitten 3 - Jeff Darlington Kitten 4 - J.D. Frazer Kitten 5 - Ian McDonald Kitten 6 - Maritza Campos Kitten 7 - Jeff Rowland Kitten 8 - That Goats-Guy Kitten 9 - Trillian Kitten 10 - Zigfluffernutter --- Side panel: You've been watching "KITTEN II" Next on OnSnore! The high-stakes senile slaughter continues in "Cribbage Massacre 3 - Pegged Again!" OnSnore! - Credits: II Kitten 1 - Rachel Abrams Kitten 2 - Darren Bleuel Kitten 3 - Jeff Darlington Kitten 4 - J.D. Frazer Kitten 5 - Ian McDonald Kitten 6 - Maritza Campos Kitten 7 - Jeff Rowland Kitten 8 - That Goats-Guy Kitten 9 - Trillian Kitten 10 - Zigfluffernutter Kitten 11 - Joe Sunday Kitten 12 - Bob Tuesday Kitten 13 - Red Pooki Kitten 14 - Mike Scandisco Kitten 15 - Phil Foglio Kitten 16 - William Windom [?] | Flag | ||||
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<**BLAM!**> (Zoë blasts the last remaining kitten) -- Riff: Nice one. Zoë (grinning): Thanks! (They run for the truck, Riff carrying Angela; the remaining kitten is in the air above them) Kitten: grrr -- (Ed and Sid get into the bed of the truck; they place Angela in with them) -- (A determined Torg sits ready in the driver's seat) -- (Riff and Zoë join them in the bed of the truck) Zoë: Oh God, Riff! That's... that's... Riff: That's Bert all over. -- Riff (pounding on the cab of the truck): *Go, Torg!* <*POUND-POUND*> -- Riff: *GO-GO-/GO!/* --- Flaky: What's that up ahead? Torg: *Soggy kitten stampede!* - (A soggy kitten stampede) --- Sid and Riff (looking at each other; just as the final air-borne kitten dives in): *Catnip grenades!* --- (Zoë shoots the air-borne kitten) <*BLAM!*> (Sid and Riff toss catnip-breaded grenades at the soggy kitten stampede) - <**BOUNCEY bouncey bouncey*> - Kittens (pouncing on the catnip-coated grenades): **yeeeee!** --- <*BOOM!*> <**BOOM!**> <**BOOM!**> Sid: **WHOO-HOOO!** | Flag | ||||
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- (Most of the kittens plummet into the lake) <*splish*> <*splash*> <**SPLOOSH**> - (One kitten, with big sad, anime eyes swims in the water with one of the mittens) - (One of the four is shown angrily swooping back) --- Riff: Did we get them all? Between the smoke and the night I can't see a thing! -- Sid: I just saw a silhouette! /*There!*/ -- Riff (shooting at one of the kittens): *Everyone on guard! We've got kittens! We've...* **YAAH!** <**BLAM!**> -- Juan: Which way are they coming in? Which /waa.../ <**Kishh*> (A kitten breaks through the window and attacks Juan) Ed: *JUAN!* -- <**BLAM!**> (Ed shoots a kitten) -- (Zoë has a gun; she gets ready.) -- <**BLAM!**> (Zoë shoots a kitten) -- (The three kittens converge on the milk bowl in Angela's lap) -- (The kittens lap up the milk; turning docile) -- Ed: *Damn!* Poor Juan. Zoë (into the walkie-talkie): *Riff! Come in!* Three got in but there was just enough milk for them. *Riff? /Riff?/* -- <**HONK! HONK!**> Riff (barging in the door): Our ride's here! But we got one more in the air. /*Let's go!*/ | Flag | ||||
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-- Torg (waving his vest like a bull-fighting cape): Torro? Torro? <dangle> <dangle> -- <**squeeky!**> (Torg deploys the vest; the kitten pounces at it) <**Pounce!**> -- Torg: *Olé!* (Torg lets go of the vest; the vest and kitten fly by him) -- (The kitten and vest land in the lake behind Torg and Flaky) <**SPLASH**> Kitten: Rowl! Torg (joyfully making the victory sign with both hands): To the truck, token half-naked girl! Flaky: *Die!* -- Ed: Here they come! Heading right for us. We should have used Angela for bait! Zoë: Riff's plan will work! They're just not close enough to hear it yet! Juan: Yes they are, guys! *It's working!* They're all heading *right for the explosives!* -- Caption: the devil's kittens are enraptured by milk, drawn to slaughter the caretakers, and compelled to retrieve their mittens. They can battle these urges with some modicum of success. But there is one mundane appliance found in the cabin. One sire-call which NO canned-food-eating cat or kitten born of hell or elsewhere can resist. That of the electric can-opener. -- <**WHRRRRRRRR...**> Riff: *You want to play cat and mouse, you furry bastards?* Well guess who became the *mice to my pied-piper.* Come and get it! -- Riff: *Sid! Now!* Sid: Wait for it... -- <**WHRRRRRRRR...**> (The kittens gather 'round the can-opener) Kitten: **mew?** -- **BA-DA**BOOM!****** -- <**BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**> <**BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**> Caption: The explosives create a chain reaction on the mines around the perimeter of the cabin. -- Sid (at the precipice of a now giant moat): *cough-cough*. Do you think we overshot the lake? | Flag | ||||
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-- (The mittens are snatched up) -- Torg (lifting up the boat; into the walkie-talkie): Riff! I think I finally pissed them off! They've left! They must be on their way to you! -- Zoë (into the walkie-talkie): Riff's out with Sid by the trap. We've decided on some bait that we think will work. As soon as the coast is clear he said he wants you to get to the truck and pick us up. Torg? /Please/ be careful. -- (A mitten lies on a twig) -- (A kitten snatches it in flight and soars away) -- Torg: Looks clear. (Torg splashes towards shore, while Flaky removes her wet clothing) <*splash*> <*splish*> -- Torg: Come on! Let's go get that truck! <*sploosh*> <*sloosh*> <*splash*> -- Torg: *Flaky! Let's move...* -- (Torg turns around to notice that Flaky has stripped to her underwear) -- Riff: You got something, Sid? Sid: The bad little kittens have found their mittens, and now we're in deep doo-doo. (Through Sid's binoculars 15 kittens are seen flying in) -- Flaky: Look, my cloak weighs a hundred pounds wet and we've got to move fast and whatever you're thinking, *shut up.* Torg (holding up his vest for her): Actually I was thinking this is strangely appropriate, but shouldn't you be running around screaming? -- Flaky: Something like, "Eek, help, that landlocked kitten is about to pounce us in half?" Kitten: Fsst! | Flag | ||||
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-- Ed: Look what I found in the Commander's locker! *Hell's Science Die-it Satanic Kitten Food!* (The bag says "Hell's | Science Die-it || inhuman growth") -- Torg (lifting the row-boat to taunt the kittens): *NYAH! NYAH!* --- Torg (under boat, kittens circling above): Tell Riff my vest is locked and reloaded! Riff (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): Flaky! Flaky, pick up! - <**SPLISHATY SPLASH!**> - Flaky (into the walkie-talkie): I'm here. Riff (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): Did you feed the kittens? Like, cat food? Flaky (into the walkie-talkie): Yes, they needed milk, but they wanted food as well. Riff (off panel; over walkie-talkie): We've found some satanic cat food and want to use it as bait. -- Flaky (into the walkie-talkie): Is it canned? Riff (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): No, dry in a bag. Flaky (into the walkie-talkie): They won't touch it. They only like "Six Hundred and Sixty Six Lives" out of a can. Riff (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): Wow. Even satanic cats are picky! Flaky (into the walkie-talkie): Satanic cats are /extra/ picky. -- Juan: Add water! It'll make gravy! Ed (slapping Juan's face): *That's satanic dog-food you fool! You want to get us all killed? <**SLAP**> -- Juan: *HEY!* Ed: Sorry, stressing out a bit. Riff: There's got to be a way to bait the trap! The last drops of milk we gathered? Maybe it'll be enough to bring them all in? Catnip? -- Juan: You're not going to get all of them together tight enough. We could lay Angela over the target. They'll be going after the caretakers first. -- Zoë (feeding the catatonic Angela): You can't be /serious!/ That's dumber than most of Torg's plans! -- Zoë: Riff, why aren't you saying anything? (Riff is staring at Angela) -- Torg (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): Riff you've got to do something! *Ogh! /NOOOOOOOO!/* -- Torg (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): *God, you've got to hurry and get us out of here!* Riff (into the walkie-talkie): *What is it Torg? What's wrong?* Torg (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): We're getting all pruney! | Flag | ||||
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Sid: You want me to angle enough explosives to send the kittens flying through the air and land them precisely in a lake, miles away. -- Riff: Not precisely. It's a very big lake. Sid: You're crazy! Riff: You're our best shot! -- Sid: But it's cold out there! And I'm only wearing a T-shirt and *I only got one leg!* Riff (pointing at Sid): We've got a grumpy demos-expert! -- Sid: A... a kitten didn't gnaw my leg off. I blew it off by accident. Some demolitions expert I am. It was a cold morning, the sky was coming in blood red and... Riff: *No time for character development, Sid!* Grab a pencil, some paper and a calculator and figure out how much of what I need to put where. *Just do it!* -- Sid: This'll take everything we've got left. That means we got one shot. How do you propose to get all 18 kittens together on one spot? Riff: 17 kittens. One is landlocked. And I'm working on that. Juan! Ed! I want every cabinet, dresser and suitcase in this cabin opened. Don't worry about etiquette, I need it done now! Zoë, you still have Torg on the phone? -- Riff (into the walkie-talkie): Torg? I need you to distract the kittens. Torg (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): *Are you totally crazy?* Riff: I've been hearing that a lot lately. Torg (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): Riff, how am I supposed to do that? -- Riff: Dangle an arm out, splash around, get their attention! They want us to play their game, then we'll play by their rules. As long as you're interesting to them, they'll stick around. As soon as you become too boring, they'll move on, to us, and I need you to buy some time. Can you do it? -- Riff: I don't even know if they're still around Riff. I'll take a peek. -- (Torg stands up and pushes the boat out of the water) Torg: *ANY KITTENS WANT TO SNACK ON A CARETAKER? I GOT ONE THAT'S LIGHT AND FLAKY!* Flaky: This is a "peek?" -- (The kittens dive in and Torg drops the boat) <**SPLASH**> -- <*CLAW*> <*SCRITCH*> <*RIP*> <*TEAR*> <*WOOOOSH*> Torg: If this keeps up, we're going to need another boat! Flaky: Just keep splashing. <**SPLASHATY SPLASH!**> | Flag | ||||
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-- (Torg grabs the walkie-talkie) -- (Torg's head resurfaces, under a boat) <**SPLASH!**> -- Torg: Got it. Man, I hope this thing is waterproof. -- Torg (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): /Schttzzzziff? Riff? Are you there?/ -- Riff (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): *Torg! You're alive! What's your status?* Torg: Flaky tackled me into the lake and the kittens are keeping back. We're under an overturned rowboat tethered to the dock. -- Torg (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): But, Riff, we're the only ones. The kittens... everyone else is dead. Bert too. Lucy. All of them. Riff (into the walkie-talkie): I'm sorry, man. (Zoë's eyes are full of tears) -- Torg (into the walkie-talkie): You know Riff, I'd be more than happy to use a hacksaw on one of those kittens' heads now. Then again, it'd have to be, like, a lightsaber hacksaw to hurt 'em, but, boy-o-boy I'd use one! -- Riff (into the walkie-talkie): Wouldn't work Torg. A hacksaw is supported at both ends. The pointy end of the lightsaber would cut through its support! Torg (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): But a lightsaber handle can contain the power! Hey, why didn't any of the Jedi come up with a suit of armor made out of lightsaber-handle material? -- Riff (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): We could use some armor like that. We're next. Torg (under the boat; into the walkie-talkie): Riff, one of the kittens couldn't pull up in time and dove right in the lack after me. It immediately scrambled for the shore, and it's not flying anymore. -- Riff (pulling off his bandolier of catnip-breaded grenades; into the walkie-talkie): Kittens can't fly with wet wings. That could be useful. Juan: Forget it. This cabin doesn't have running water and the kittens won't be able to hit easily. That was why B-company bought it. And that was before we knew kittens could fly. -- Torg (off panel; over the walkie-talkie): It's a shame we can't throw the whole lake at them. Riff (looking at his catnip-breaded grenades; into the walkie-talkie): No... *But maybe we can throw them at the lake!* | Flag |
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