| View | [+] ... Jack: We're part of an order that has been monitoring the devil's activities for centuries. Our mission is to defend humanity from the devil's true son who will rise up to control the world (like in those old 70's Damien movies). As an aside to that, we've been watching the kittens, "The Evil," for the last fifty years, making sure they stayed contained. It was only when Flaky destroyed the milk supply in a deliberate attempt to release the kittens against humanity that we stepped in. And now we use the kittens to train ourselves for the battles which lie ahead of us. ...[-] Comic Title: Sluggy Freelance: Fear the wordy panel of words
===
Torg (arms folded): We want more answers, clown!
Jack: You've got me all wrong. We've been trying to get Flaky for a few days now, and she's walked right into my arms. Now I have all the caretakers! The world is gloriously safe!
--
(Pan out so we can see a guard sneaking off, under a sign saying "TO SECRET HELICOPTER LANDING PAD -->".)
Torg: Wait, where'd that other guard go?
Jack: Can we get back to my revelations please?
--
Jack: We're part of an order that has been monitoring the devil's activities for centuries. Our mission is to defend humanity from the devil's true son who will rise up to control the world (like in those old 70's Damien movies). As an aside to that, we've been watching the kittens, "The Evil," for the last fifty years, making sure they stayed contained. It was only when Flaky destroyed the milk supply in a deliberate attempt to release the kittens against humanity that we stepped in. And now we use the kittens to train ourselves for the battles which lie ahead of us.
Flaky (angrily): /*I did no such thing!*/
--
Zoë: If you've been watching the kittens the whole time, why didn't you step in and help when my friends were being slaughtered?
Jack: We take *one* vacation in *fifty years* and get nothing but grief over it! | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Torg (angrily): Which just /might/ have a lot to do with her fear of *kittens,* and you idiots dragging her back to a town full of *kittens,* and then surrounding her by killer *kittens!* ...[-] (Wispdale, Arny HQ.)
Zoë: Let's get out of here! Being in Wispydale surrounded by kittens is not my idea of a good time.
Flaky: These kittens are harmless for now, and this cabin is surrounded by milk. It's the safest place we can be.
--
Zoë: Did you see Angela, Torg?
Torg: She's upstairs, catatonic on a bed.
--
Torg (angrily): Which just /might/ have a lot to do with her fear of *kittens,* and you idiots dragging her back to a town full of *kittens,* and then surrounding her by killer *kittens!*
--
Jack: We needed all of you five here! Can you imagine the trails of bloodshed as the milkless kittens carved their way through populated areas to find you? At least here you're contained. We kept Angela's exposure to kittens to a minimum.
--
Torg: *You put the litter box by her bed!*
Jack: Being catatonic, we figured she'd mind the smell the least. Hey! CAT-a-tonic. Get it? | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Mika (off panel; over the radio): We were hit from behind! They scattered us and took us out one at a time! The survivors are on the way back to Command now, but about six kittens are on their way to you! ...[-] (Wispydale.)
Mika (off panel; over the radio): Dart? Bones? This is Mika!
Dart (into radio): Mika! I thought F-Company was kibble!
Mika (off panel; over the radio): We were hit from behind! They scattered us and took us out one at a time! The survivors are on the way back to Command now, but about six kittens are on their way to you!
--
Bones: Dart, you A-Company guys are in no shape to fight. Get the other kittens back to base.
Dart: Good luck, Bones.
Bones: Don't need luck; I've been killing kittens since I was ten!
Dart: That's... um... disturbing...
--
Caption: Eight minutes later...
Soldier: Here they come.
Bones: Prep yarn-bolas! OK kitty-cats! I've got a message to send to your pop when you see him in Hell! Tell him us mortals said *No Littering!*
--
Bones: Get it? /Littering?/
Soldier: Like in "kitty litter?"
--
Bones: No, like in a bunch of kittens being referred to as "a litter."
Soldier: Oh! That *is* cleve...
(Kittens in for the kill; and carnage) | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Jack the Clown: Flaky has damned your friends to her fate. The kittens will come to kill your friends eventually. So you can see they are obviously safer here. ...[-] Ted Ringer (off panel; on TV): Next up on Unholy Concubine Connections, we've got a match made quite far from heaven with a woman named sacrifice #3,566 and her date, Cthu ...*CLICK*
Jack the Clown: Flaky has damned your friends to her fate. The kittens will come to kill your friends eventually. So you can see they are obviously safer here.
--
Riff: They're /*here?*/ I thought you said Flaky kidnapped them with her spells!
Jack: Well, yeah um, then we kidnapped them back!
Lucy: How can you kidnap them "back" unless you had them to begin with?
Jack: Um... Er...
--
Zoë: Riff! You got my message!
Soldier: *Sir!* We caught Flaky trying to free our prisoners from the basement.
Torg: Since I got the drop on you with the gun, we're not technically your prisoners anymore.
Soldier: *Are too!* | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Flaky: Well, I take care of the kittens he spawned, but we had never met. When I found the mark of the concubine on my forehead I was terrified about my future, but I must admit, I was also intrigued. ...[-] </Video (shown to Riff and Lucy by Jack the Clown at Wispydale HQ)>
Ted Ringer: Yes, for the second time the Devil himself has come to Wispydale. Seeking love? Seeking an heir? Returning for the litter he left behind? We'll find out tonight on...
--
Title: Unholy Concubine Connection | with Ted Ringer
--
Ted: Tonight we're talking to Flaky who had a destined rendezvous with the Devil himself. Flaky, tell me about your thoughts before the meeting?
Flaky: Well, I take care of the kittens he spawned, but we had never met. When I found the mark of the concubine on my forehead I was terrified about my future, but I must admit, I was also intrigued.
--
Ted (narrating): Well that was soon to change as Flaky told us the Devil came on a little too strong!
Satan: *You are my concubine Flaky! By the power of Hell itself you can't deny me! I have reservations so let us make haste. I decree this date "Dutch!"*
--
Flaky (narrating): It was the worst blind date of my life. Everything was me-me-me.
Satan: I am very much the embodiment of evil. Did I mention I'm actually an angel of light! A prince of lies as well. But I am not lying about being an angel of light... or am I? Heh-heh, I enjoy that joke.
--
Satan: So what do you do?
Flaky: Take care of your kids.
--
Satan: Oh, did I mention that I have many appearances to behold? This is my B-Movie Hollywood look! Oh, and about that "being cast out of heaven" thing. Well, let me tell you that whole situation has been blown out of proportion. Talk about spin! It's really now a *He*-said-*He*-said thing.
Flaky: sigh
Flaky (narrating): It went on like that all night.
--
Flaky (narrating): I wasn't going to invite him in afterwards, but he said he wanted to see his kids. Nice excuse.
Satan: My children, I grant you more power than before, more potential to be a force of destruction on this pitiful Earth...
--
Satan: *...Plus I got you all mittens!*
Kittens: mew! mew! mew! mew! mew!
--
Ted: Mittens? An odd gift. Here to talk about it is Satan himself.
Satan: Hi Ted! I would like to say that I am appalled at Flaky's insinuation that I was using my offspring to get to her.
Audience: CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!
--
Flaky: Talk about Prince of Lies! /Who gets gloves for cats?/
Satan: Do you know what Hell is like? It is hot! It is uncomfortably hot and humid all of the time. So what do we have? Comfortable bathing suits? Margaritas?
--
Satan: **NO! PARKAS AND MITTENS! BECAUSE IT IS /HELL!/**
--
Ted (narrating): Someone has unresolved issues! Watch this next part!
Satan: You shall be given milk each night. If you do not, you shall destroy your five caretakers, and become a blight upon this Earth! And you will stop at nothing to retrieve your mittens should they become lost. So be it.
--
Flaky: The five caretakers were killed already! That's how I got stuck with /this/ job!
Satan: You shall fill their role. And the survivors... What were their names?... Torg, Zoë, Bert, and Angela. /You shall be the new five. A pox on your souls!/
--
Ted: Satan, I know you didn't enjoy your date but cursing her out was uncalled for!
Audience: *OOOOO!* BOO! BOO! BOO! Talk about high maintenance! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO!
Satan: *A POX ON /ALL/ YOUR SOULS!*
Audience member: Girl, you gotta lose that Dee-Man and git yo-self a He-Man!
</End video> | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Jack the Clown: I'm sorry to inform you that your friends are in great peril. They have been called to these woods by the evil spells of the kitten's caretaker. This witch-woman, called *'Flaky',* has destroyed the town's milk supply. And she has worse in store for your friends. ...[-] (Wispydale, Arny HQ)
Jack the Clown: I'm sorry to inform you that your friends are in great peril. They have been called to these woods by the evil spells of the kitten's caretaker. This witch-woman, called *'Flaky',* has destroyed the town's milk supply. And she has worse in store for your friends.
--
Jack (banging a fist against the desk): We have very little milk left, yet my soldiers and I are the *only ones* standing between Satan's kittens and the /world!/ *We /will/ learn how to destroy them once and for all!*
--
(Lucy and Riff stare at him -- in shock)
--
Jack: It's the clown makeup, isn't it? Just ruins my whole credibility. I'm better over the phone. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Dart (into the radio): We've lost most our men, but E-Company is solid and the kittens have all been milked. ...[-] (Wispydale)
Dart (into the radio): We've lost most our men, but E-Company is solid and the kittens have all been milked.
Jack the Clown (off panel; over the radio): Ew, and good job, Dart. Return to base. Bring 'em all home.
--
Dart: Sir the ones who attacked us, including the one from the coffee shop, and those you have secured on base... That makes a total of 12 kittens. This means 6 are unaccounted for.
--
Jack (off panel; into the radio): Then I recommend you return to base a little bit quicker. Command out!
Soldier: Commander! We have the two prisoners who returned Sgt. Acey to us, Sir!
Jack (off panel): Please come in.
--
Riff: For the last time, /I've/ got a gun on /you,/ I'm *not* your prisoner!
Soldier: Are too!
Riff: Do I have to draw you another diagram?
Soldier: Silence, prisoner!
Riff: That's *it!* Lucy, get me some paper! | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Riff: Right. That place is kitten-proof, so that's where we want to be. ...[-] Riff (carrying a gun at the ready): This looks like their command building.
Lucy: This just looks like any old cabin.
--
Riff: Note the trough of milk around the perimeter.
Lucy: Oh yeah, milk neutralizes them, right?
Riff: Right. That place is kitten-proof, so that's where we want to be.
Lucy: If they have milk here, why did they take yours?
--
Riff: They're playing war games with these kittens, Lucy. Having milk would make things too easy.
Lucy: Well, thanks to you they have milk now. They should be taking care of those kittens with ease.
--
Dart (running away from the kittens' carnage): ***eeeeeeeeee*** | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Jack the Clown: *Wrong.* Now that innocent civilians have gotten caught in the crossfire, it's only a matter of time before the legal authorities step in. We need those kittens tame and we need them tame *now!* Get me Lt. Dart! ...[-] (Wispydale, Command Outpost.)
Soldier: We've lost companies C, D, B, and F in less than 24 hours! Things couldn't get any worse.
Jack the Clown: *Wrong.* Now that innocent civilians have gotten caught in the crossfire, it's only a matter of time before the legal authorities step in. We need those kittens tame and we need them tame *now!* Get me Lt. Dart!
Soldier: Yes sir!
--
Dart (into the radio): They're not coming for the milk sir! It seems like they're trying to avoid it!
Jack (off panel; over the radio): They can't resist the milk once they're close enough. Lt. Dart, I authorize you to utilize the F.L.V.(*) immediately.
Footnote: (*)Feline Lure Vest.
--
Dart (putting on a pink vest): You heard the man, company. *Suit up!*
--
</**tug!**/> <**SPROING-G-G**>
(Furry, fluffy cat toys sproing from the vests)
Dart: And God save us all.
Soldier: /*INCOMING!*/ | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Kitten: **mew.** ...[-] (Wispydale.)
Torg: Well, this is definitely a basement of some kind. I've found a windowsill, but there's wire-mesh between the glass and me. I wish I had more light.
--
(The light is turned on)
<CREAK!>
Torg: That's better.
Kitten: **mew.**
--
Torg (jumping back): /**YEEEEA! KITTEN!**/
(The kitten bats at his hand)
<BAT!>
--
Flaky (bending over to pick up the docile kitten): These kittens won't harm you. Yet. They have had their milk today. But there are others.
Zoë: *Flaky?* But... you're dead!
--
Flaky (petting the kitten): I only wish I was, Zoë. Because the Devil came back to Wispydale... for me. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... (A kitten leaps at the barrel of Dart's gun; one of Dart's soldier's blows another one back with his riot gun) ...[-] (Wispydale.)
Acey: The truck... is it OK?
Riff: I grabbed the wheel before you started blanking on us. Lucy's getting the can of tuna fish you wanted.
--
Lucy: Here it is. That mitten you were holding... The "Arny" guy brought two like it to the coffee shop. Before the kittens attacked.
--
Acey: They're Satan's mittens. The kittens will stop at nothing to get them back. Quickly, put the barrel of my gun into the tuna fish.
Riff: Yum! Then we can bread the grenades. You dizzy again?
---
Acey: You have to understand: We know what we're doing with these kittens. We control the mittens, which gives us control of them! Lt. Dart will be using them to bait the kittens away from the townsfolk and into our trap.
-
Caption: CO: Lt. Dart | A-Company | Handle Unit
(Dart has one mitten tied to the radio antenna on his helmet, and is waving the other mitten)
Dart: nyah nyah
-
Caption: CO: Lt. Mika | F-Company | Backup Unit
(F-Company is lurking in the forest; Mika has a "Hello Kitty" decal on the front of her helmet)
---
Acey: Kittens close fast. The scent of tuna draws the kittens right in front of the barrel of our riot guns. It's an effective way to knock them back.
Caption: A-Company | Under attack
(A kitten leaps at the barrel of Dart's gun; one of Dart's soldier's blows another one back with his riot gun)
--
Acey: Normally we'd be leading them back to our Command Outpost, but thanks to the milk you provided, we're using the Little Teapot scenario. If we can herd them to the milk, we can contain them for another day.
Riff: What do you mean "normally"?
Caption: CO: Lt. Bones | E-Company | Milk-Unit
(Map shows the location of the Arny units; five men per unit)
--
Caption: CO: Lt. Dart | Transmission:
Dart: All units be advised, we are only drawing in two kittens. The others could be anywhere.
--
Acey: The Handle-Unit pulls them in towards the milk, and the Spout-Unit uses the local water supply to wall them in. Unless something goes wrong, the milk will neutralize the kittens.
Riff: And if something goes wrong?
Caption: Co: Lt. Pidge | B-Company | Spout-Unit
(B-Company exits the "Wispydale Fire Dept." with fire hoses and "Soak Master" water guns, as kittens pounce.)
--
Caption: B-Company | Under attack.
(Blood; gore; shredded fire hose)
--
Acey: We've never... lost... a... war game yet...
Riff: Great. War games with satanic kittens. *Who /are/ you people?*
--
Lucy: Is she OK?
Riff: She lost an eye and a thumb and a lot of blood. We better get to that Command Outpost and hope there's a medic there. Buckle up, we're out of time.
--
Lucy: We're heading to their base?
Riff: Away from the kittens.
--
Lucy: I thought you said the kittens were safer than these army-impersonators!
Riff: A kitten tore the hood off this truck. I'm reassessing the situation as we go.
--
Caption: CO: Lt. Pidge | Transmission:
Pidge (into the radio): *Command!* | This is B-Company! | *We're being wiped out here!* The kittens shouldn't have been able to flank us! | Lt. Mika? /Sgt. Delaware?/ *Where was F-Company?* /God help/... * | Flag |
| View | [+] ... (Mrs. Wilson is shown running into the wall of a building -- having been led there by her satanic seeing-eye dog, who is now growling at two frightened satanic kittens; behind them chaos and destruction as satanic kittens attack Wispydale) ...[-] Comic Title: THE WISPYDALE SIDE
===
(Mrs. Wilson is shown running into the wall of a building -- having been led there by her satanic seeing-eye dog, who is now growling at two frightened satanic kittens; behind them chaos and destruction as satanic kittens attack Wispydale)
Caption: Before the satanic kittens attacked the town, there just didn't seem to be an up-side to Mrs. Wilson's satanic seeing-eye-dog.
===
Management: apologies to Larson
[The cartoon is a parody of "The Far Side" by Gary Larson] | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Caption: Frank got the clerk's attention just as he remembered that he didn't misplace his face, a satanic kitten tore it off. Scrambling to cover with a story about losing a Stetson hat, Frank realized his mouth was on his face. Elsewhere, boy was his face red. ...[-] Comic Title: THE WISPYDALE SIDE
===
(As seen from behind, a man is at a "LOST ~n FOUND" window)
Caption: Frank got the clerk's attention just as he remembered that he didn't misplace his face, a satanic kitten tore it off. Scrambling to cover with a story about losing a Stetson hat, Frank realized his mouth was on his face. Elsewhere, boy was his face red.
===
Management: apologies to Larson
[the cartoon is a parody of "The Far Side" by Gary Larson] | Flag |
| View | [+] ... (Acey breaks sharply and the kitten is thrown off, along with the hood of the truck, which the kitten is still holding onto) ...[-] Riff: If you're "Clubs," why did you get a diamond on your face?
Acey: *Hey! Don't mess with me!* Didn't you see the tattoo?
Radio: *All units! Respond! The kittens are attacking the quarantine area! Innocent people are getting slaughtered!*
--
Acey (holding out a child's mitten): Keep your eyes peeled. We're not safe as long as we have *this!*
(A kitten lands on the windshield)
<*whump*>
---
(The kitten breaks through the glass, taking the mitten and some of Acey's flesh along with it)
<**CRISH**>
-
(Acey breaks sharply and the kitten is thrown off, along with the hood of the truck, which the kitten is still holding onto)
<***ert***>
--
(The truck races off into the woods)
<**VROOM!**>
Kitten (with a mitten): **mew.** | Flag |
| View | [+] Dart (into the radio): F-Company, Dart here. Scout the coffee shop. According to our guests we'll find Jaffe as well as one milked kitten. That means we'll have a max of 11 kittens to watch out for. ...[-] Dart (into the radio): F-Company, Dart here. Scout the coffee shop. According to our guests we'll find Jaffe as well as one milked kitten. That means we'll have a max of 11 kittens to watch out for.
Soldier (off panel; over the radio): Milked kitten? Eww!
--
Dart (making finger quotes): Sgt. Acey, escort these two to Command. They'll need to be "debriefed". I'm off.
Acey: Good luck sir. Chase 'em up a tree for me.
--
Riff: It's never a good sign when they do the finger-quotes over the word "debriefed".
Acey: I'm Sgt. Acey, but everyone calls me Clubs. As in the Ace of Clubs. Don't try anything on my watch, because I am one tough chick, as shown by this tattoo on my face.
--
Acey (pointing to a diamond tatoo around her left eye): I mean, getting my face all tattooed must have hurt like hell, but I did it. So obviously I must be tough as nails and not to be messed with!
Dart: Acey, the tattoo works better without the narration. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Command (off panel; over the radio): Do your best to head the kittens back towards us. We've got to minimize loss of innocent life. You may be dealing with upwards of... /twelve kittens./ I'm sorry Lt. Dart. Command out. ...[-] Lt. Dart (into the radio): It's as we feared. That fool Lt. Jaffe led the kittens right to town! We think we have them isolated in the northern fifth at the tributary, but there's a lot of people in that zone!
Command (off panel; over the radio): Do your best to head the kittens back towards us. We've got to minimize loss of innocent life. You may be dealing with upwards of... /twelve kittens./ I'm sorry Lt. Dart. Command out.
--
Dart: Twelve. We don't have half the man-power for that. We're S-O-L.
--
Soldier: Maybe not, sir! Sgt. Delaware pulled these off a civie trying to get through the south barricade.
Dart: Two half-gallons? *It might just be enough.* Have Sgt. Acey meet me at the barricade and tell Sgt. Delaware to get his unit into position for /"The Little Teapot"/ scenario.
--
Dart: *All units! Stay sharp! We're going to milk the hell out of those kittens!*
--
Dart: When I say, "milk those kittens," I mean we're going to throw milk at them.
Soldier: You might want to clarify that, sir. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Cindy: *I was ripped in half by a kitten right in front of you!* ...[-] </Torg's dream>
Cindy: *Torg, you let me die! You couldn't save me, but they want you back, Torg,* *~they want you all back.~*
--
Torg: And you are...
Cindy: I'm Cindy! Don't you remember?
Torg: Vaguely. I thought your name was Faye.
Cindy: *I was ripped in half by a kitten right in front of you!*
--
(Torg looks uncomfortable; Cindy is angry)
Torg: Oh yeah! Hey, you're looking good considering. Um, you've got a little food on the side of your mouth... I had a napkin around here...
Cindy: *Torg's walking around high school in Spiderman Underoos!*
--
(Torg is suddenly standing in front of a classroom wearing nothing but Spiderman briefs; graffiti on the blackboard reads "Louzr" and "Duh" with arrows pointing to Torg)
Torg: *I am not...* /Hey!/ **EEEK!**
</End of Torg's dream>
--
Torg (waking up; still wearing his vampire costume): **(*)GASP!(*)**
--
(Torg shuts his eyes hard and crosses his arms over his chest)
Zoë (Off panel): *Torg, is that you?*
Torg: I'm here, Zoë! Someone turn on the lights, I just had the worst nightmare! | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Lucy: That wasn't a normal kitten. What was it? ...[-] Lucy: I'm Lucy.
Riff (driving a van): The name's Riff. This is Wispydale, right?
Lucy: Uh-huh.
--
Lucy: That wasn't a normal kitten. What was it?
Riff: Best you don't know.
--
Lucy: I feel like I'm going crazy! I don't know /what/ to think!
Riff: You know, nothing helps me more when I'm succumbing to mental trauma than a nice warm recap.
--
Riff (narrating): About fifty years ago the Devil came to Wispydale, and fathered 6 plus 6 plus 6 kittens. He left a cult of 5 worshippers to care for the kittens. There was one catch. That they provide some milk for the kittens each night. Otherwise the kittens would be unleashed upon the world, in general, and upon the five specifically.
--
Riff: A couple of years ago one of them gave them soymilk by mistake.
--
Lucy: What happened?
Riff: The kittens killed them all. And others...
--
Riff (narrating): A bunch of camping college coeds were caught in the crossfire. They put together that they needed milk to turn "The Evil" (as they are called by some) to regular old kittens. But it cost many lives in the process.
Kitten: **mew.**
--
Riff (narrating): In the end there were only four survivors. Angela, who spends her days in an asylum now. Bert, who says "crotch" a lot and belongs in an asylum. And my... two... best friends, Torg and Zoë.
--
Lucy: Your friends got away, but now the kittens are back? I mean, why now? Who's been giving them milk until now?
Riff: I don't know. What I do know is right before a Halloween Party we were throwing, Torg and Zoë vanished, but Zoë managed to scrawl a word on the wall before disappearing. It said "Wispydale". So here I am, armed with milk, looking for my friends.
--
Lucy: This whole thing is *scary!*
Riff: It might sound crazy but that's the story they told me. The milk-thing seemed to have panned out, since you're still alive.
Lucy: No, it makes /sense!/ We've had a milk shortage this week due to lack of milk at the General Store.
--
Lucy: And hey! There are plenty of rumors of a witch running the Glee General Store. And she does have cats. Actually kittens. /Actually/ they've been kittens for a long time.
Riff: Then I'll start with the store. Where do I drop you off?
Lucy: My home's about a mile beyond that military roadblock.
Riff: Uh-oh.
--
Sgt. Delaware: You are currently in a quarantine area. You have to turn around.
Riff: Um, sure thing.
--
Soldier: He's got /milk!/
Delaware: *Hands where I can see them!!*
--
Riff: Hey! You're not really military!
Delaware: How do you know?
Riff: Your pocket says "United States /*Arny"*/
Soldier: *HE'S ON TO US!*
Delaware: *OUT OF THE VEHICLE NOW!!*
--
Soldier: He's right. No wonder Command got our uniforms at a discount.
Riff: Lucy, I think we might have been better off with the kittens. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Dex: *Zoë!* You came back to Wispydale for me! The kittens, they've kept me alive! Under the cabin! Me and Flaky both! *For you.* ...[-] </Zoë's dream>
Dex: *Zoë!* You came back to Wispydale for me! The kittens, they've kept me alive! Under the cabin! Me and Flaky both! *For you.*
Zoë: /Dex?/
--
Dex (missing his right arm): *They want you back Zoë.* ~they want you all back.~
</End of Zoë's dream>
--
Zoë (waking up): **(*)GASP!(*)**
--
Zoë (terrified): */IT'S NOT REAL!/ Torg? /Someone?/ ANYONE? /Is anyone out there?* Hello?/
--
Bert: CROTCH.
--
Zoë: Bert, I am /*so*/ happy to hear you say that! | Flag |
| View | [+] ... (A kitten is up on a shelf, looking down at Lucy; Lucy scrambles for the door) ...[-] (Wispydale cafe, The Good Eatz. Lucy cowers in the corner, under a sign that reads "We serve only the freshest meat", as the kittens turn all around her into a red mist; a leg, eye-balls, and other unidentifiable body parts fly towards her)
--
(A kitten is up on a shelf, looking down at Lucy; Lucy scrambles for the door)
Kitten: **mew.**
--
(Lucy reaches the door just as Riff arrives, opening a bottle of milk)
--
(Riff throws the milk into the cafe)
--
(The milk splashes over the floor and walls)
<**Splash!**>
--
(The kitten start to drink it)
Kitten: LAP-LAP-LAP!
--
Riff: *Don't go to sleep or the kittens will eat you.*
--
Lucy: /*I can't sleep?*/
Riff: No, I made it up. I was going to use /"Come with me if you want to live",/ but that's been done.
--
Lucy: I... I think I'm going into shock!
Riff (pulling out another bottle of milk from his trenchcoat): Fine, *you* try and come up with good satanic-kitten-hunting catch-phrases. | Flag |
