Tip: Click on a transcript's + button to expand it to its full length. Click the - button to collapse it.
  |  | | | | |  |  |
| Previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
| View |
Cindy: You're one beautiful lady short tonight, Dex! I've got a date! Zoë: So, Dex, would you rather spend your night in a drunken stupor with a bunch of Neanderthals, tripping over logs and belching at each other? -- Max: Torg, man, you're pretty cool! *(*)Belch!(*)* Torg: *(*)Belch(*)!* We're, like, belching at each other! Bert: **I have smelt this puddle of beer and am BUZZED, I tell you! BUZZED!** Smit: Sorry, guys, it's been fun, but I got a date! -- Angela: Do you know when Torg will be back? Zoë: When he comes-to most likely. Flaky: "One will never come-to again. One will never return. We shall join the dead, one at a time. And all our souls shall burn." -- Dex: There "Flaky" goes again! Fay: Flaky? Did you get a premonition? Flaky: No. Goth fortune cookie. -- Dex: Mine says "Just die, you big dumb jerk!" Anybody want to trade? Zoë: This is the last time we order Goth-Chinese-Take-Out! Who wants my "Angst-Fried Rice"? Flaky: The "Wurld-so-dum" is pretty good! Fay: Dibs on the "General Tso Whut"! -- Header: Sluggy Freelance | KITTEN Cindy: Finally alone! Smit: Yeah, baby! -- Cindy: I don't know about you, but Flaky's giving me the creeps. And with all of us college kids out in the woods tonight, I almost feel like I'm in some weird low budget slasher flick! Smit: God, I hope not! The black guy always dies in those! Cindy: Well, what about me? I'm the obviously promiscuous one who'd get axed right after my topless scene! -- Smit: Yeah, I'd probably go out with some stupid-ass pun like "I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached to my neck!" Cindy: Yeah, then your head would land in my lap, causing me to go screeching through the woods yelling stuff like... -- Cindy: /**LOOK OUT! KITTEN!**/ -- Kitten (sitting in the middle of the road): **mew.** -- <***SWERVE!***> -- <***CRASH!***> (Smit's van crashes into a tree) -- Cindy: Smit? Are you all right? Smit: Yeah. Thank God for seat-belts. -- Smit: So, about that topless scene... Cindy: Smit? You just totaled your van. Maybe you should quit while you're ahead! -- (The kitten slashes Smit's head off and it lands in Cindy's lap) <**SSSLASH!**> <***POP***> -- Cindy (struggling to get out of the car): ***EEEEEAAAAAAAA!*** -- Cindy (on the ground, where she fell getting out of the car): **EEEEEAAAAAAAA!** -- Cindy (running away through the woods): **EEEEEAAAAAAAA!** Kitten: **mew.** -- Bun-Bun: Hi! I'm supposed to be narrating this thing, but I really don't have too much to add. Oh, I would like to commend the creator of this Sunday strip, it's the first one to really scare me. It's scary how badly we telegraphed that punchline. Here's to hoping for that topless scene. | Flag | ||||
| View |
-- Store Sign: Glee's GENERAL STORE Sign: OPEN Sign: Tabbaky cheap! -- Max: I'm *Max!* That's short for *"Maximum Chuggage"* 'cause I'm the master at the inverted-keg-lap! And this is *Fay!* I'm not sure what "Fay" is short for. Fay: My sudden desire to *"Fay"-d* into nothingness? -- Max: That's *Smit,* the man with the van. He knows more about cars than anybody I know. He owns about ten of them, all kinds. Yup, he's rich! And that's *Cindy!* Not much more to her than what you see, but who needs more, eh? -- Max: That guy over there is *Dex!* He's my best-bud, I'd die for that guy! And that girl on his arm is *Zoë.* They just hooked up, but it won't last. It takes a special girl to win the heart of the *Dex-Man!* -- Max: Speaking of which, that's *Angela!* She's been dating Dex on and off for years! She normally gets all jealous when Dex dates other women, but this time it looks like she might be trying to make *him* jealous by pretending to be interested in Zoë's friend, *Torg!* -- Max: Now, I don't know Torg, but he seems like a dork. Plus he invited that weird guy, *Bert.* He's always complaining about what is or ain't "art". Bert's so weird, we wouldn't let him in the van, he has to drive behind us on his stupid moped. -- Max: Then again, Bert's only slightly weirder than that chick over there. Don't know her real name, but we all call her *"Flaky"* Flaky knits more than my grandmother and thinks she's a psychic. Don't have to be psychic to know why she's hanging out with *Reggie!* He's the man to see if you want to get happy, if you know what I mean, and I *know* you do! Sign under Mr. Glee: Valid I.D. fer booze! Dag Nabbit! -- Mr. Glee: **WHEN I SAID *"WHO THE HELL DO YOU KIDS THINK YOU ARE!?!"* I WASN'T EXPECTING A *DAMN ANSWER!*** Mrs. Glee: Oh don't mind my husband. Mr. Glee is just a bit grumpy! I'm Mrs. Glee, but you can call me "Plot Device to Determine Setting". -- Mr. Glee: **DAG-NABIT!** Mrs. Glee: Welcome to Wispydale! Where are you kids staying? Max: We rented one of them Wispydale cabins, ma'am! Mrs. Glee: *Lovely!* Be sure to say hi to your neighbors, the Traipsey brothers! They're about a mile south of you! -- Bun-Bun: Is a kitten going to spell doom for these kids? Is Mrs. Glee just a plot device? Will I put up with doing the narration for this story? The only things you can be sure of, are that there is evil loose in Wispydale, and that this comic won't wrap with a punchline. -- Bun-Bun: This just in: So the Polish guy says "I saw the 7 o'clock news too, but I didn't think he'd jump again at 11." -- Bun-Bun: I stand corrected. | Flag | ||||
| View |
=== College Co-ed #1: Only a few miles to the cabin! College Co-ed #2: I'm so excited, guys! A whole week relaxing, away from all the stress at college! Sign: Welcome to WISPYDALE. Home of the cheap cabins in the woods for vacationing coeds! -- Cindy: *Whoa!* Look at that bloody pile of guts! Zoë: Oh *gross!* What *was* it? Smit: Must have been a deer, that's all. -- College Co-ed: Yes, it must have been a deer. Only a deer. Badge (next to a sheriff's hat on the road -- next to the bloody pile of guts): SHERIFF -- Deer: *Sheriff Deer was murdered!* Hit by a truck and left by the side of the road! We must *avenge* him, Deputy Deer! Deputy Deer: Not in *this* storyline, but *someday!* | Flag | ||||
| View |
=== Dr. Haught-Sheik: Well, Sheriff Bugahf, these kids were killed by a series of tiny bites, possibly rats. We won't know for sure until the results come back from that testing-place-thingy in the city. If there *is* something causing the rats to swarm and attack people, we're going to have to quarantine the area! -- Sheriff Bugahf: *In the middle of tourist season?* Are you out of your mind, Dr. Hot-Chick? I'm not shutting down this town in the middle of tourist season! Dr. Haught-Sheik: The name is *"Dr. Haught-Sheik".* And the only touristy things here are the log cabins you rent for $45 a week! Hell, *I'll* cover your losses! -- Sheriff Bugahf: It's the principle of the matter! You fancy *"City Doctors"* wouldn't understand things like that. Dr. Haught-Sheik: This isn't about your principles, it's about keeping innocent young adults from getting nibbled to death by rats! -- Dr. Haught-Sheik: And second, *I've live in this town my whole life!* Sheriff Bugahf: Don't confuse me with facts! I didn't get to be sheriff of this town by listening to reason, I done it by being annoyingly stubborn about the bad judgment calls I make! | Flag | ||||
| View |
Ditzy Cheerleader (bouncing around with her pom-poms outside of the car): *Rah! Rah! Rah!* Billy Ray, it's such a beautiful night, why do you want to stay in the car? Just to "neck?" Billy-Bob says that you were necking with Billie-Sue last night, but I didn't believe him! -- Ditzy Cheerleader (getting into the car): *Billy-Ray!?!* Is that a *hickey?!?* You *did* go to the dance with Billie-Sue! *Take me home right now!* <**SPURT.**> <**SPURT.**> (Billy-Ray has a hole in his neck from which blood is spurting out) -- Ditzy Cheerleader: *Aw!* You bought me a kitten to make up with me! OK, I'll take you back! Kitten: **mew.** (The blood emanating from Billy-Ray's neck is now a fountain hitting Ditzy Cheerleader on the head) -- <***SLASH!***> <*EEEEYAAA!*> <**HELP!!!**> <***CHOMP!***> <**NOOOO!!!!!**> <***GLITCH!***> (The passenger side of the car is now a shower of blood) -- Title Panel: Sluggy freelance presents... | KITTEN === Comic Footer: /Due to repeated use of the name "Billy", this comic may not be suitable for all audiences./ | Flag |
 |  | | | | |  |  |
| Previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |