| View | [+] (Black background, with gray wavy bits, possibly forming a face; a girl seems to be sitting up, naked and drawn in grey and white, with glowing white eyes) ...[-] (Black background, with gray wavy bits, possibly forming a face; a girl seems to be sitting up, naked and drawn in grey and white, with glowing white eyes)
Caption: A girl woke up dead. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... (Gwynn goes to the shower and jumps back on finding a naked Schlock in it; Schlock is holding a bath brush in one hand and a washcloth covering his privates in the other) ...[-] Gwynn: Zoe? [sic: should be "Zoë"] What are you doing still up?
Zoë: I can't sleep. Having nightmares about work.
--
Gwynn: It's cake compared to mine! This daily zombie makeup is murder on my skin and I'm going to have to start wearing glasses there!
--
Gwynn: Do you have any idea what it's like to slip on a puddle of coworker's fake blood and land face first in a salmon mousse molded to look like a brain?
Zoë: Figuratively.
--
(Gwynn goes to the shower and jumps back on finding a naked Schlock in it; Schlock is holding a bath brush in one hand and a washcloth covering his privates in the other)
Gwynn: /***eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!***/
--
(Gwynn spins round and grabs her robe)
Gwynn: /*Dammit!*/
--
Gwynn (angrily marching off): Dr. Schlock left another one of his stupid inflatable decoys in the shower again!
(Dr. Schlock stands still)
--
(Dr. Schlock stands still)
--
(Dr. Schlock stands still)
--
(Dr. Schlock stands still)
--
(Dr. Schlock stands still)
--
(Dr. Schlock smiles)
Schlock: I'm so happy! | Flag |
| View | [+] ... (The inflatable naked Schlock decoy is holding a shower brush and smiling old-man-creepily)[-] Riff: Dr. Schlock! A pleasure. Sit. You have the alien DNA?
Schlock: Of course.
Riff: Were you followed?
Schlock: No. All of them think I'm taking a late night shower.
--
Riff: How did you manage that?
Schlock: I left an inflatable decoy of myself in the shower, and... | Oops! I think I forgot to turn the shower water on.
--
Gwynn (starting to step into the shower; then covering herself with the shower curtain): It'll feel good to get out from under this zombie makeup /**eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!**/
(The inflatable naked Schlock decoy is holding a shower brush and smiling old-man-creepily) | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Gwynn (naked - in the shower): **GRRRR!** ...[-] Torg (wearing an Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, and carrying a tropical drink): Hi Guys! I'm back from Guantanamo Bay! They released me once my Viking heritage sent their Caucasianometer through the...
--
(Bun-Bun has his switchblade drawn; Zoë's eyes are wide with fear, and she's holding her hands up trying to back away from the bunny)
Torg: **WAIT!* What's going on here?*
--
Zoë: *Bun-Bun mailed Kiki to Alaska!*
Torg: **BAD BUNNY!**
--
(Bun-Bun knocks Torg through a wall)
<**WHAM!**>
--
(Torg's head crashes through bathroom tile and out the other side of the wall)
<**CRASH!**>
--
Gwynn (naked - in the shower): **GRRRR!**
--
(Gwynn beats Torg silly with her loofah)
<Wham! Wham! WHAM Wham Wham Wham! Wham Wham!>
--
(The four are now at Crystal's; Gwynn is glaring at Torg while sipping her drink; Torg is bandaged up with a silly grin on his face; Zoë looks like she's in mild shock)
Bun-Bun: Kinda nice to have you back, Nerdboy. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Riff (wearing chicks as briefs; otherwise naked): Right after I get a change of clothes. ...[-] (Sasha is reading a book on the couch)
--
Torg (wearing emergency pants): Time to have a word with Gwynn and that rabbit.
Riff (wearing chicks as briefs; otherwise naked): Right after I get a change of clothes.
Chicks: **peep** *peep* *peep* peep
--
(Sasha stares after them in shock)
--
Sasha: Part of me wants to say "I don't want to know", but I *do!* I really, *really do!* | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Stick-Figure-Torg: Here's a photo of Zoë naked! ...[-] Title Panel: Sluggy Freelance | Stick-Figure Week | Color Sunday Spectacular
--
Stick-Figure-Torg: Well, since this is stick-figure week, we can take advantage of it to show you some scenes that couldn't be shown previously due to content.
Stick-Figure-Riff: Like what?
--
Stick-Figure-Torg: Here's a photo of Zoë naked!
Stick-Figure-Riff: *ALRIGHT!*
Caption (in photo of Stick-Figure-Zoë): *EEK!*
--
Stick-Figure-Torg: Here's a picture of the carnage left behind when Bun-Bun visited a telemarketing firm!
--
Stick-Figure-Riff: *Oh gross!* I think I'm going to be sick!
--
Stick-Figure-Riff: **barf!**
--
Stick-Figure-Torg: See! Even vomit is acceptable in a stick-figure world!
Stick-Figure-Riff: I feel better now.
--
Stick-Figure-Zoë (punching Stick-Figure-Torg's head off): *How dare you show that photo!*
<*POW*>
--
Stick-Figure-Riff: Well, that about wraps up stick-figure week!
<STOMP STOMP STOMP>
(Stick-Figure-Zoë is stomping on Stick-Figure-Torg in the background)
--
<BLAM BLAM BLAM>
<Poing>
(Stick-Figure-Bun-Bun shoots Riff with his Stick-Figure-Glock for the heck of it)
--
Stick-Figure-Bun-Bun: *E-mail Pete! Don't let stick-figure week end! Keep graphic violence alive!*
<Poing>
<STOMP STOMP STOMP>
(Stick-Figure-Zoë continues to stomp Torg in the background)
Footnote: Sorry bun-bun, but this is the end of Stick-Figure Week! | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Bun-Bun: Baras 9. "Planet of the naked nymphomaniacs". ...[-] Secret Angel Princess-Princess (aka Princess-Princess, untying herself): The way that ship came out of nowhere... you Zorgons *do* have Void-Ghost technology!
Lord Grater: Void Ghosts are a myth. We developed cloaking on our own.
Torg: What's a Void Ghost?
--
Riff: I read about this when we were on Grittania. There is a belief that the void surrounding this universe is full of invisible aliens who attack those invading their territory.
--
Lord Grater: No one has ever captured evidence of these "Void Ghosts".
Secret Angel Princess-Princess: Yes, because no ship exploring the void too far in any direction has ever returned. No trace, no nothing.
--
Secret Angel Princess-Princess: And the reason why the outworld systems are only good for mining is from random energy-beam bombardments from the void. Kills the soul of the planet, some say.
Riff: That would explain why there's life everywhere in this little-ball universe except on the outside of the ball.
Secret Angel Princess-Princess: Gofotron won't even venture out here!
--
(Zorgon Gola is firing on their ship)
<***vortBOOM***>
--
Torg: *Less debating more panicking!*
Lord Grater: This ship is surprisingly slow for it's size. We can't out-run Gola's Death-Ship.
Riff: Let's hide in that asteroid belt.
--
Secret Angel Princess-Princess: I vote we go planetside, abandon this ship, and hide out!
Bun-bun: According to the computers, the only inhabitable planet nearby is Baras 9.
--
Bun-Bun: Baras 9. "Planet of the naked nymphomaniacs".
--
Torg: *Attention Baras 9. We need to make an emergency landing!* | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Pete: And um, here's Zoë naked! That aught [sic: should be "ought"] to hold ya! ---> ...[-] Pete: Hi gang! OK, here's the deal. I've got a fantastic Guest Artist Week-and-a-day coming up. But because I've actually been hauled off to the beach by my family who has forbade me any Sluggy work, I didn't get a chance to wrap up all the loose ends and questions generated by the end of this story. Like "where is bun-bun" and "what happened to Donna?" Nor did I come up with a gag for today. OK, one gag, but it's awful. I'll tell you tomorrow.
Pete: Anywho, after the Guest Artist Week-and-a-day I'll tackle all the issues and threads left dangling here, so have no fear!
Pete: And um, here's Zoë naked! That aught [sic: should be "ought"] to hold ya! --->
--
Zoë (annoyed; the word balloon covering up most of her breasts): Don't fall for it guys. He digitally put my head on someone else's body. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Bun-Bun (drawing his switchblade): /That/ was /then/ and you were half naked. Let's rock. ...[-] Zoë: You packed Kiki in a box and mailed her?
Bun-Bun: Only a little.
--
Zoë: *You're a monster!*
Bun-Bun: Give me a couple of months.
Zoë: What?
--
Bun-Bun (wiggling his nose): Never mind. Usually you'd whine to Torg, he'd call me a bad bunny, and I'd knock him through a wall. Now you've got no Torg, and no Riff. So, the question is, what are you gonna do about it, toots?
--
Zoë: I seem to remember punting /*you*/ through a wall in North Carolina a few years back.
Bun-Bun (drawing his switchblade): /That/ was /then/ and you were half naked. Let's rock.
<*Ka-Click*> | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Gwynn (drunkenly; naked; covering herself with a pillow): Shorry. ...[-] Comic Title: Sluggy Freelance, a Retrospective: 1997 to 2004 | Drinking Scenes
===
Bun-Bun (singing, off panel): /I just kissed a girl named *...something...*/ I *love* all you guys! *I'm the Easter Bunny!*
Riff: Did you just see a drunken rabbit hop by with my bottle of 151-Rum?
(Sasha is disgustedly wiping her mouth)
Kiki: You're so lucky!
(From the 12.30.00 comic)
---
Gwynn (drunkenly; naked; covering herself with a pillow): Shorry.
Bun-Bun: Considering you were supposed to be summoning a shadow and *not* the demon Prince Econoth, I'll let it slide, but you were supposed to be on page 237, /not/ page *327! /Focus!*/
<**WAP**>
Gwynn (drunkenly): I shleep now.
From the 04.18.02 comic)
---
Zoë and Sasha (drunkenly): **OH, HELLO... ..."RIFFINGTON"!**
Riff: It's worse than I thought.
Torg: Must... Suppress... Snicker...
(From the 11.12.00 comic)
---
Balloons: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2004 | 2004
Label on bottle of run: 151
Crystal: The drunk sock has bought you yet another cheeseburgerrita.
Mr. Sock-Lop: You and me, baby! *HIC*
Gwynn: Darn sock.
(From the 01.01.04 comic)
---
Torg: It says here that *"Drinky Winky"* of the *"Teletubbles"* is obviously an abusive drunk because of the bottle of booze he carries.
Riff: *That's not a bottle of booze! It's his magic bottle that makes his problems go away!*
(From the 03.09.99 comic) | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Aylee (thinking): Naked GHOULS Ew! Ew! Ew! ...[-] Aylee: Torg I want to leave this mall. *I'm bored!*
Torg: Funny you should say that! The ghouls are up to something! They were gathering in the sports club and I wanted to spy on them so I tried to make a peep-hole into the *ghoul's locker room!*
--
(Aylee imagines Torg peeping at a ghoul taking a shower a la "Porky's")
Aylee (thinking): Naked GHOULS Ew! Ew! Ew!
--
Aylee: Torg, *ew!* That's just plain *weird!*
Torg: It's not what you're thinking! Anyway I was /trying/ to make the peep-hole but there was a ghoul on the other side of the wall!
--
Aylee: um... /Sooo?/
Torg (pointing to a bloody hand drill): /He's bored too./ | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Alt-Gwynn (horrified): You drew naked people all over my tarot? ...[-] Torg: What is this big deal you want to show me? If it involves me getting home, you do /*not*/ want to be jerking me around.
Lady Gwynn of the Book (aka Alt-Gwynn): Patience, Torg.
--
Alt-Gwynn: We must take time to know ourselves and our futures for what I am about to embark on.
--
Torg: Like that time you "read the tea leaves?"
Alt-Gwynn: You wrote naughty words on the tea leaves! I still don't know how you got teeny tiny bad words on them!
Torg: See? I /*do*/ have patience!
--
Alt-Gwynn: This time I'll consult the cards.
--
Alt-Gwynn: ...
--
Alt-Gwynn (horrified): You drew naked people all over my tarot?
Torg: I only had time to do the top card.
--
(Lady Gwynn glares at Torg)
<**Shuffle**>
--
Lady Gwynn: **GASP!** Torg... Death is close!
--
Torg: Big surprise. Are you sure?
(Mosp is outside the building, watching them)
--
(The two cards are "Death" with a picture of Death with a T-shirt that says "Who needs a hug?" and "Is Close" with a picture of what looks like two demons with one in the other's face)
--
Torg: What is this? *Tarot for dummies?"*
Lady Gwynn: */Oh-no!!!*/
(Lady Gwynn shows a card with the Dali melting face and the words, "OH NO!!!") | Flag |
| View | [+] ... [] [blocked by Sam] Naked [obscured]nkyYAKS! @ 10/29/08 ...[-] (Sam checking his e-mail, Kiki 2 sitting next to the keyboard)
Computer: Grab-all™ | Grab-mail <envelope> <globe> <pencil>
[] Mr. Prime Abscondia needs HELP! 1/6/09
[] Rudy Ro pills Cialia Viagre free ship... 1/1/09
[] <*> a fEMALE STOP EMAILING ME 12/02/08
[] IndyMac Work From Home! 12/01/08
[] VirusV Stay Young Forever! @ 11/25/08
[] AS[obscured] Re: Eat meds zero cost ... 11/05/08
[] [blocked by Sam] Enlarged [obscured]ublic hair 10/29/08
[] [blocked by Sam] Naked [obscured]nkyYAKS! @ 10/29/08
[] [blocked by Sam] Luxury [obscured]fants o... 10/16/08
Sam: Aw! Just another scam from some dude claiming to be the Prime Minister of /Abscondia/ trying to drain my bank account!
--
Sam: That lameo [sic: should be "lame-o"] doesn't know my account was already drained by the Princess of /Scamrobi./ But that's OK because she was probably hot.
--
Grab-all: Pop-up Alert: Torg is online!
Sam: /*Torg!*/ I haven't talked to him in *ages!* I wonder what he's up to!
--
Grab-all: Torg is in his underwear.
Sam: A little too much information there, *Grab-All™!*
--
Grab-All: Torg has come into some money but doesn't want his pet rabbit Bun-bun to know.
Sam: *Grab-All™* makes information so convenient!
Grab-All: Torg has a "SuuWII Fit" age of 147 | Flag |
| View | [+] ... Interrogator (aka Borchlotz; off panel): /*Murdock!?!*/ OK, like, I know, it is uncharacteristic for a master torturer and interrogator to be squeamish, but here we are and we've got to get through this master record. Can we tone down the cheese, potties, and naked caribs? ...[-] Murdock (narrating): It was me and my three rack-mates, Ingles and Captain Blacksoul. We sailed along all happy, picking up more crew and touring every port we could find.
--
Murdock (narrating): Then we met the fuzzy white and gray bartender and bouncer of the Serendipity Tavern in Port Malta.
--
Bun-Bun: The name's Bun-Bun. What can I get you losers?
Blacksoul: /Loser, am I?/
(Signs behind Bun-Bun read, "Tip Now" "Do NOT pet the bartender"; and above the the tip jar: "Spare a moment of your time"
--
Murdock (narrating): I had never seen Captain Blacksoul gamble before but that night he drank and gambled and he gambled away his ship.
Blacksoul: Go fish?
Bun-Bun: Loser am you.
--
Murdock (narrating): Bun-Bun left the bar behind. Renaming the ship the Bloody Bun, he allowed Blacksoul to stay on as First Mate and us to be his crew.
--
Murdock (narrating): And that was going fine until the night Ingles put a poisonous serpent into Captain Bun-Bun's room.
<Tip Toe Tip Toe>
<Ssss>
--
SFX: CREAK
SFX: Ssss
--
Snake: Hisssss...
Bun-Bun: Oh please.
--
Murdock (narrating): Bun-Bun made the snake go away and retaliated by putting a rabid Carib in Ingles' room.
<Shuffffff>
--
<**Thud.**>
--
Ingles: **YEAAAAAH!**>
Rabid Carib: **CHOMP!**
--
Ingles: My hand!
Rabid Carib: mmmm! Aged Stilton with a hint of garlic!
--
Interrogator (aka Borchlotz; off panel): /*Murdock!?!*/ OK, like, I know, it is uncharacteristic for a master torturer and interrogator to be squeamish, but here we are and we've got to get through this master record. Can we tone down the cheese, potties, and naked caribs?
Murdock: No prob. We were just getting to the guts and vomit and mucus anywho! | Flag |
| View | [+] ... (Bert as Dr. Manhattan; naked and blue) ...[-] Comic/Panel Title: CROTCHMEN: Dr. Bertmuda
===
(Bert as Dr. Manhattan; naked and blue)
Dr. Bertmuda: "They fear my junk science because they don't understand it. MY WORLD IS GIANT BLUE JUNK SCIENCE!"
===
NOTE: I've decided to take over Sunday for Stuart and Lauren over at _Chain Bear_ <http://www.chainbear.com/> this week! As disturbing as this may be to watch (*)I(*) had to actually draw the thing! | Flag |
| View | [+] ... NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ <http://www.chainbear.com/> Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people.[-] Comic Title: Sluggy Tarot - Part 7 | (Clash of Swords)
===
Card 12: Image of Horribus, in a loin cloth, holding the spear Calmadar
Caption: King of Swords | Active & determined person. Authority. Cruelty, Selfishness, Sadism. A dangerous or wicked person.
--
Card 13: Alt-Zoë's death scene; Torg in his mourning stance with Chaz by his side and cape of spades.
Caption: 3 of Swords | Sorrow, Strife, removal. Tears. Grief. Separation. Removal. Loneliness.
===
NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ <http://www.chainbear.com/> Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people.[-] Comic Title: Sluggy Tarot - Part 6
===
Card 10: A sketch of Flaky, holding a cat, in a patched dress.
Caption: Queen of Swords | Sharp, quick-witted person. Intensely perceptive subtle person. Woman of sadness. Separation. Absense [sic: should be "Absence"]. Lonliness [sic: should be "Loneliness"].
--
Card 11: A sketch of 2009 (or Father Time??) dressed in purple, with a clock around his neck like Flavor Flav.
Caption: The Emperor | Wordly power, Father, Authority. Immaturity, Ineffectiveness, Lack of strength.
===
NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people.[-] Comic Title: Sluggy Tarot - Part 5
===
Card 8: A sketch of Aylee in fire-breathing form suspended from a noose around her legs
Caption: The Hanged "Man" | Transition. Reversal of one's way of life. Sacrifice. Regeneration. Rebirth.
--
Card 9: An angular sketch of shocked Gwynn and K'Z'K, similar to the comic "So Gwynn turned around."
Caption: Judgment | Time to account for actions. Delay. Frustration. Failure to face facts. Deep Worry, Alienation.
===
NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ <http://www.chainbear.com/> Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people.[-] Comic Title: Sluggy Tarot Part 8
===
Card 14: An image of Kusari holding two bloody gamas; lightening strikes in the background.
Caption: Strength | Fortitude. Conviction. Determination. Abuse of power. Indifference. Defiance.
--
Card 15: A picture of Pete as the glowing headed man holding a pencil and a sketchbook.
Caption: Ace of Wands | Creation. Invention. Start of an Undertaking Enterprise, Fortune. An adventure.
===
NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ <http://www.chainbear.com/> Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people. | Flag |
| View | [+] ... NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ <http://www.chainbear.com/> Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people.[-] Comic Title: Even more Sluggy Tarot
===
Card 16: Picture of Oasis on a chess board holding a sword, with a heart framing her in the background.
Caption: Ace of Swords | Great determination. Strength. Force. Power. Deep emotion. Love. Disaster. Violent Temper. Tyranny. Self Destruction
--
Card 17: Image of Sam in a red trenchcoat, wielding a sword
Caption: Knight of Swords | Bravery. The dash of a young man. Impetuous rush into the unknown. Ruin over women. Impulsive. Conceited fool.
===
NOTE: Today's art created for you by Stuart of _Chain Bear._ <http://www.chainbear.com/> Chain Bear often contains images not suitable for work or school viewing. Like a far too high percentage of fat naked people. | Flag |
